Biggus
07-30-2014, 04:00 AM
ARE YOU WEARING A DUMB EXPRESSION?
Are you wearing a dumb expression?
You certainly look like a schmuck
Not that I’m not saying you’re stupid
Where thinking is concerned you’ve had no luck
BURNS NIGHT SUPPER
With Haggis, Tatties and Nips
The Scots celebrate Burns night
They pipe it in with Bagpipes
And that’s really not right
What the hell is wrong with them
I thought they actually liked him
THE BIG FIVE ZERO # 1
You may be 50
But don’t worry, yet
You’re not over the hill
So don’t you fret
There is nothing to fear
It’s only a number you know
It’s not as if overnight
You’ve lost your get up and go
It’s just a number, Happy Birthday.
It is a big number though
VIOLET HIT ROSE
Violet hit Rose
Square on the nose
She lost the plot
And Rose cried a lot
Noses have bled
Eyes they are red
Violet you’re blue
But what did I do?
PICKUP # 10
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
“I’m a Doctor, Dr Love
Would you like some medical fun?
There are 206 bones in the human body,
Do you want another one?”
I DON’T THINK OF YOU AS OLD
I don’t think of you as old
And what I say to everybody
Is you're just a young girl
Trapped in an old ladies body
YOU ARE 50 YEARS OLD
You are 50 years old
And if I may be so bold
Despite what you were told
The emphasis is on the old
THE MAGYARS CAME TO PLAY
In nineteen fifty three
The Magyars came to play
Bamboozling Billy Wright
The Beckham of his day
When Puskás dragged back
He made Billy Wright esquire
Look like a fire engine
Heading towards the wrong fire
On 25 November 1953, at Wembley Stadium
England 3 Hungary 6, Ferenc Puskás scored twice
GOOD BYE SCOTLAND GOODBYE
Good Bye Scotland goodbye
Good bye Scotland don't cry
That little Nationalist train
that makes me
Quite happy, no words can tell how glad it makes me
Go now Scotland and then,
We’ll wave goodbye once again.
Hear us all cheer
Without a tear
And if it all goes wrong don’t come back in a year
Good Bye Scotland goodbye.
Good bye Scotland don't cry.
Sung to the tune of Toot Toot Tootsie
THE CHOCOLATE STRAWBERRY’S
The Chocolate Strawberry’s
I have so far concluded
As one of your five a day
May definitely be included
Are you wearing a dumb expression?
You certainly look like a schmuck
Not that I’m not saying you’re stupid
Where thinking is concerned you’ve had no luck
BURNS NIGHT SUPPER
With Haggis, Tatties and Nips
The Scots celebrate Burns night
They pipe it in with Bagpipes
And that’s really not right
What the hell is wrong with them
I thought they actually liked him
THE BIG FIVE ZERO # 1
You may be 50
But don’t worry, yet
You’re not over the hill
So don’t you fret
There is nothing to fear
It’s only a number you know
It’s not as if overnight
You’ve lost your get up and go
It’s just a number, Happy Birthday.
It is a big number though
VIOLET HIT ROSE
Violet hit Rose
Square on the nose
She lost the plot
And Rose cried a lot
Noses have bled
Eyes they are red
Violet you’re blue
But what did I do?
PICKUP # 10
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
“I’m a Doctor, Dr Love
Would you like some medical fun?
There are 206 bones in the human body,
Do you want another one?”
I DON’T THINK OF YOU AS OLD
I don’t think of you as old
And what I say to everybody
Is you're just a young girl
Trapped in an old ladies body
YOU ARE 50 YEARS OLD
You are 50 years old
And if I may be so bold
Despite what you were told
The emphasis is on the old
THE MAGYARS CAME TO PLAY
In nineteen fifty three
The Magyars came to play
Bamboozling Billy Wright
The Beckham of his day
When Puskás dragged back
He made Billy Wright esquire
Look like a fire engine
Heading towards the wrong fire
On 25 November 1953, at Wembley Stadium
England 3 Hungary 6, Ferenc Puskás scored twice
GOOD BYE SCOTLAND GOODBYE
Good Bye Scotland goodbye
Good bye Scotland don't cry
That little Nationalist train
that makes me
Quite happy, no words can tell how glad it makes me
Go now Scotland and then,
We’ll wave goodbye once again.
Hear us all cheer
Without a tear
And if it all goes wrong don’t come back in a year
Good Bye Scotland goodbye.
Good bye Scotland don't cry.
Sung to the tune of Toot Toot Tootsie
THE CHOCOLATE STRAWBERRY’S
The Chocolate Strawberry’s
I have so far concluded
As one of your five a day
May definitely be included