dratsab
07-17-2014, 06:06 PM
I can't fit the full short story on here, so if you like the first paragraph, PM me and I will send you the full thing.
What were mere velleities to a large array of the kids in my school, and other schools, and was formerly a velleity to myself would manifest itself today. I woke up in the same bed, in the same position, just like I did every day. It felt like the movie Groundhog’s Day, only not quite as worthy. In reality you have to face the accumulation of disappointments from the previous days tacked on with the unknown new anxieties that new days, new events, new people with new behaviors in new situations would present. Unpredictability is scary. Groundhog’s Day applied to reality would be like a video game, and instead of accumulated disappointments there would only be the accumulation of knowledge and skill. Every day you would be leveling up while your enemies stagnated. You would become a God as long as you had the will to grind it out. I could walk into a library and instead of a depression hitting, with the knowledge that I would never live to read all the beautiful thoughts written by all the notable authors, I could repeat the same actions of walking into the library and reading everything eventually without the distraction of responsibilities. I could safely read the philosophical musings of death without being overcome with the thought that these would one day happen to me. Every time I am faced with an appointment to go to, I always assume this appointment will be the end of the world for me. I read books like they are my last; I make it a race. I don’t even enjoy them; I just stuff the knowledge in my brain like a glutton stuffing his face with food in the fear that he will be pried away from it. Today’s goal I promised to accomplish would be no different… well, in that sense.
What were mere velleities to a large array of the kids in my school, and other schools, and was formerly a velleity to myself would manifest itself today. I woke up in the same bed, in the same position, just like I did every day. It felt like the movie Groundhog’s Day, only not quite as worthy. In reality you have to face the accumulation of disappointments from the previous days tacked on with the unknown new anxieties that new days, new events, new people with new behaviors in new situations would present. Unpredictability is scary. Groundhog’s Day applied to reality would be like a video game, and instead of accumulated disappointments there would only be the accumulation of knowledge and skill. Every day you would be leveling up while your enemies stagnated. You would become a God as long as you had the will to grind it out. I could walk into a library and instead of a depression hitting, with the knowledge that I would never live to read all the beautiful thoughts written by all the notable authors, I could repeat the same actions of walking into the library and reading everything eventually without the distraction of responsibilities. I could safely read the philosophical musings of death without being overcome with the thought that these would one day happen to me. Every time I am faced with an appointment to go to, I always assume this appointment will be the end of the world for me. I read books like they are my last; I make it a race. I don’t even enjoy them; I just stuff the knowledge in my brain like a glutton stuffing his face with food in the fear that he will be pried away from it. Today’s goal I promised to accomplish would be no different… well, in that sense.