The Man who Died at the Urinal

[oneinseven]

Stay Tuned

[108 fountains]

Potential Spoiler Alert!

I started reading this thinking I probably would not like it much. Just glancing at it - six long paragraphs with no line spacing, no dialogue, first post of a new member. The title, of course, piqued my curiosity, so I tried to go in with an open mind. The writing was a progression of simple, declarative sentences, nothing particularly noteworthy about it, but it did paint a fairly vivid picture, even with the lack of dialogue. By the time I got to about halfway through the final paragraph, I decided it was a pretty good effort after all. Then I read the ending. I really, really enjoyed it. I don't know if everyone will react the same as me, but I really did enjoy it. Looking forward to more stories from you.

[oneinseven]

108 fountains-

Thanks I really appreciate it.

[nicksherman9]

Please add more paragraphs w/ line spaces as this did make it a chore to read. Luckily, the story and writing was good enough that I felt the need to continue reading, regardless of the words appearing in a massive blob. The story kept my attention and I stayed intrigued. Not sure the last couple lines are necessary. I think the story is strong enough w/o a twist ending. Overall, nice job. I enjoyed your story a lot. Best of luck.