Biggus
07-05-2014, 04:35 AM
ARE YOU WEARING A DISGUISE?
Are you wearing a disguise?
I think that’s probably wise
For to risk discovery is rash
For special agent Dick Splash
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 329
Go to bed first,
A golden purse,
Go to bed second,
A golden pheasant,
Go to bed third,
And be extremely embarrassed
By what you find the other two doing
THE PROBLEM WITH LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE
The problem with lying about your age
It’s not the deception you deplore
It’s when they all believe you and
You regret not knocking off some more
WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WAS A BIT OF A LAD
When I was young I was a bit of a lad
But now life has caught up with me
It used to be wine, women and song
Now it's beer, the old lady and TV
WHY IS IT WHEN TWO PEOPLE MARRY?
Why is it when two people marry?
It is predestined for him
To never remember birthdays
And for her to never forget them
LIFE BEGINS AT 40 # 1
You may be 40
But don’t worry, yet
You’re not over the hill
So don’t you fret
There is nothing to fear
It’s only a number you know
You won’t suddenly get all wrinkly
Or ache from head to toe
It’s just a number, Happy Birthday.
You do look old though
ARE YOU WEARING THAT FOR A GIGGLE?
Are you wearing that for a giggle?
And I love your sense of humour
And I you have a good one too
Despite the contrary rumour
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOTHER DEAR # 2
Happy birthday, mother dear
But your dreams won’t come true I fear
The one about the ten grandchildren
I’m gay and I thought I’d made that clear
I WAS TOLD ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION WAS
I was told artificial insemination was
When the farmer gave Toro a bit of a pull
Before he does it to the cow instead
But I’m sure that that has to be bull
CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF
Contrary to popular belief
In the USA it needs to be said
That a Turbine, is not
What an Arab wears on his head
Are you wearing a disguise?
I think that’s probably wise
For to risk discovery is rash
For special agent Dick Splash
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 329
Go to bed first,
A golden purse,
Go to bed second,
A golden pheasant,
Go to bed third,
And be extremely embarrassed
By what you find the other two doing
THE PROBLEM WITH LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE
The problem with lying about your age
It’s not the deception you deplore
It’s when they all believe you and
You regret not knocking off some more
WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WAS A BIT OF A LAD
When I was young I was a bit of a lad
But now life has caught up with me
It used to be wine, women and song
Now it's beer, the old lady and TV
WHY IS IT WHEN TWO PEOPLE MARRY?
Why is it when two people marry?
It is predestined for him
To never remember birthdays
And for her to never forget them
LIFE BEGINS AT 40 # 1
You may be 40
But don’t worry, yet
You’re not over the hill
So don’t you fret
There is nothing to fear
It’s only a number you know
You won’t suddenly get all wrinkly
Or ache from head to toe
It’s just a number, Happy Birthday.
You do look old though
ARE YOU WEARING THAT FOR A GIGGLE?
Are you wearing that for a giggle?
And I love your sense of humour
And I you have a good one too
Despite the contrary rumour
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOTHER DEAR # 2
Happy birthday, mother dear
But your dreams won’t come true I fear
The one about the ten grandchildren
I’m gay and I thought I’d made that clear
I WAS TOLD ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION WAS
I was told artificial insemination was
When the farmer gave Toro a bit of a pull
Before he does it to the cow instead
But I’m sure that that has to be bull
CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF
Contrary to popular belief
In the USA it needs to be said
That a Turbine, is not
What an Arab wears on his head