Sheffa
07-04-2014, 11:02 AM
Hello everyone! I'm new here and wanted to start writing! I thought that an online forum would be the best place to get honest feedback.
Below is my first few paragraphs of something that I have started writing, it would be greatly appreciated if you could let me know what you think :)
"There is no backing out of this one Em." I thought to myself as I slowly edged further and further into a dark corner. The back of my heels connected with the wall and I felt my heart pounding in my chest like a war drum. Adrenaline crackled through my veins as I heard the sinister growl of the creature that was about to pounce on my throat at any moment. The predators luminous yellow eyes glowed in the moonlight and it stood up on its hind legs.
"This is it now Emily, you are done for. You are toast."
As the beast made its advances, I could hear my warm blood pumping in my ears and I felt an intense energy rush through me. Without thinking, I held my hands in front of myself and pushed at the air. My hands erupted in an intense light as a ray of white plasma burst from my fingertips, frying the godforsaken beast to a smouldering pile of ash.
Then I ran. I ran as fast as my muscular legs would take me; still not quite believing what I had done and whether I was actually awake or not!
Again, thanks in advance for your comments :)
Sheffa out.
Below is my first few paragraphs of something that I have started writing, it would be greatly appreciated if you could let me know what you think :)
"There is no backing out of this one Em." I thought to myself as I slowly edged further and further into a dark corner. The back of my heels connected with the wall and I felt my heart pounding in my chest like a war drum. Adrenaline crackled through my veins as I heard the sinister growl of the creature that was about to pounce on my throat at any moment. The predators luminous yellow eyes glowed in the moonlight and it stood up on its hind legs.
"This is it now Emily, you are done for. You are toast."
As the beast made its advances, I could hear my warm blood pumping in my ears and I felt an intense energy rush through me. Without thinking, I held my hands in front of myself and pushed at the air. My hands erupted in an intense light as a ray of white plasma burst from my fingertips, frying the godforsaken beast to a smouldering pile of ash.
Then I ran. I ran as fast as my muscular legs would take me; still not quite believing what I had done and whether I was actually awake or not!
Again, thanks in advance for your comments :)
Sheffa out.