Biggus
06-30-2014, 03:54 AM
ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY KNEES?
“Are you looking at my knees?”
She asked me right out flat
I just looked at her coyly
And said “No I’m above that”
MY KIDS ARE STILL MAD AT ME
I put Ginger in the Casserole
I am in trouble as is the habit
I thought it was very tasty
But they really loved that rabbit
WHEN THEY TOLD CHERYL COLE
When they told Cheryl Cole
That she had la fièvre malerial
She just thought it must be
A new product from L’Oreal
HE WAS A SERIOUS SWIMMER
He was a serious swimmer
And was in the pool constantly
But his progress was halted
In his lane, by an elderly lady
“How long must I wait?” he asked
She replied “until I finish my pee”
SHE WAS AN OLD LONELY WIDOW # 1
She was an old lonely widow
Oft overlooked to be fare
When an elderly friend
Saw her standing there
And walked up behind her
And got his hands on her pair
“Guess who?” The old man said
She replied “I don’t care”
RAMBLING
My wife suddenly announced
“I’ve decided to become a rambler”
Now was that walking or talking
An even money bet for a gambler
MY WIFE HAS WOMEN’S INTUITION
My wife has women’s intuition
So well-tuned is her technique
That she knows I’m wrong
Even before I manage to speak
THESE AREN’T WRINKLES
“These aren’t wrinkles” she said
“They’re laughter lines honey”
I said “I didn’t hear the joke,
But it must have been really funny”
MY WIFE GOT ME TO BELIEVE IN RELIGION
My wife got me to believe in religion
Not something you could foretell
But it was true because until
I married her I didn't believe in Hell
ARE YOU WEARING BREEKS?
Are you wearing breeks?
And very fetching they are Hen
And now if you wouldn’t mind
Can you take them off again?
“Are you looking at my knees?”
She asked me right out flat
I just looked at her coyly
And said “No I’m above that”
MY KIDS ARE STILL MAD AT ME
I put Ginger in the Casserole
I am in trouble as is the habit
I thought it was very tasty
But they really loved that rabbit
WHEN THEY TOLD CHERYL COLE
When they told Cheryl Cole
That she had la fièvre malerial
She just thought it must be
A new product from L’Oreal
HE WAS A SERIOUS SWIMMER
He was a serious swimmer
And was in the pool constantly
But his progress was halted
In his lane, by an elderly lady
“How long must I wait?” he asked
She replied “until I finish my pee”
SHE WAS AN OLD LONELY WIDOW # 1
She was an old lonely widow
Oft overlooked to be fare
When an elderly friend
Saw her standing there
And walked up behind her
And got his hands on her pair
“Guess who?” The old man said
She replied “I don’t care”
RAMBLING
My wife suddenly announced
“I’ve decided to become a rambler”
Now was that walking or talking
An even money bet for a gambler
MY WIFE HAS WOMEN’S INTUITION
My wife has women’s intuition
So well-tuned is her technique
That she knows I’m wrong
Even before I manage to speak
THESE AREN’T WRINKLES
“These aren’t wrinkles” she said
“They’re laughter lines honey”
I said “I didn’t hear the joke,
But it must have been really funny”
MY WIFE GOT ME TO BELIEVE IN RELIGION
My wife got me to believe in religion
Not something you could foretell
But it was true because until
I married her I didn't believe in Hell
ARE YOU WEARING BREEKS?
Are you wearing breeks?
And very fetching they are Hen
And now if you wouldn’t mind
Can you take them off again?