Pendragon
06-20-2014, 10:01 PM
Silence is Golden
I had gone over to Lebanon for a Doctor’s appointment
I was headed back home feeling fine—
So when the blue lights came on in my rear view mirror
I thought: What was I doing this time?
The Lawman came to the window, took my ID
Said “Do you know just how fast you were going?”
I had the Right to Remain Silent but not the ability
To keep my ignorance from showing…
I said, “No I don’t know just how fast I was driving,
But from the sound of it, you don’t know either.
I was just minding my business, driving back home—
When you showed up out of the Æther…
I recognize your car, you were in way out in front of me
When I was on my way over—
Driving like an idiot at about eighty-five
Charging down the right hand shoulder!”
He frowned. “You just turn off that car, put the keys on the seat
And crawl out of there you comedian fella!
Go round the front put your hands on that hood
And spread your legs out like I tell ya!”
He got my knife and my flashlight, my Multi-tool, my lighter—
He said “Concealed weapons will get you a fine.”
I had the Right to Remain Silent but the ability
Was something that I just couldn’t find…
I said “That knife ain’t no weapon, here in Virginia
That blade is only two and a half—
It has to be more than three to be classified a weapon—
But I’m guessing that you know that.
The blade in my Multi-tool is shorter, that flashlight is tiny,
So your threat has kinda got me amazed—
And there ain’t no law against carrying a cigarette lighter
Although smoking's out of favor these days!”
He took hold of my left wrist, twisted it up my back—
Slammed me face down on the hood
He said “Boy, I am the Law and you’re gonna respect me
That’s one thing I want understood!
Now I have you for speeding, for mouthing off to an Officer,
And for being a general pest!”
I opened my mouth but he said “You say one word
And I’ll tack on resisting arrest.”
So he impounded my car, put me in handcuffs,
Hauled me off to the regional jail
I had to stay overnight, but early next morning
The Judge released me without bail
I smiled when I left to go redeem my car
And that’s where this story should end—
But I’m afraid that it didn’t because two weeks later
I saw that crazy cop once again!
It was about eight-thirty on a cold Monday morning
When they presented my case to the court
That Cop sounded so silly recounting his story
That I gasped out a laugh and a snort
The Judge looked at me, said “Boy, you find something funny?
Just what has you so amused?”
I had the Right to Remain Silent but this time I thought
Maybe I ought to tell him the truth,,,
I said “He oughta talk about breaking the law
Have you ever seen the way that he drives?
I could understand if he were in an automobile chase
But what about when he’s out just killing time?
Now he’s built this whole case out of moonbeams and dreams
He just got mad at something I said.”
The Judge said “That’ll be thirty day for contempt of this court
Officers! Remove this man!”
Now I’m cooling my heels back in the regional jail
And that Cop is all smiles these days—
He giggles and grins as he slides me my supper
And reminds me that I still have twenty-five days!
It’s strange, but when you’re on the inside looking out through the bars
The Right to Remain Silent suddenly makes sense
So I just give him a nod and I pick up my fork
Before my mouth logs another offense…
Pendragon
© Friday, June 20, 2014
I had gone over to Lebanon for a Doctor’s appointment
I was headed back home feeling fine—
So when the blue lights came on in my rear view mirror
I thought: What was I doing this time?
The Lawman came to the window, took my ID
Said “Do you know just how fast you were going?”
I had the Right to Remain Silent but not the ability
To keep my ignorance from showing…
I said, “No I don’t know just how fast I was driving,
But from the sound of it, you don’t know either.
I was just minding my business, driving back home—
When you showed up out of the Æther…
I recognize your car, you were in way out in front of me
When I was on my way over—
Driving like an idiot at about eighty-five
Charging down the right hand shoulder!”
He frowned. “You just turn off that car, put the keys on the seat
And crawl out of there you comedian fella!
Go round the front put your hands on that hood
And spread your legs out like I tell ya!”
He got my knife and my flashlight, my Multi-tool, my lighter—
He said “Concealed weapons will get you a fine.”
I had the Right to Remain Silent but the ability
Was something that I just couldn’t find…
I said “That knife ain’t no weapon, here in Virginia
That blade is only two and a half—
It has to be more than three to be classified a weapon—
But I’m guessing that you know that.
The blade in my Multi-tool is shorter, that flashlight is tiny,
So your threat has kinda got me amazed—
And there ain’t no law against carrying a cigarette lighter
Although smoking's out of favor these days!”
He took hold of my left wrist, twisted it up my back—
Slammed me face down on the hood
He said “Boy, I am the Law and you’re gonna respect me
That’s one thing I want understood!
Now I have you for speeding, for mouthing off to an Officer,
And for being a general pest!”
I opened my mouth but he said “You say one word
And I’ll tack on resisting arrest.”
So he impounded my car, put me in handcuffs,
Hauled me off to the regional jail
I had to stay overnight, but early next morning
The Judge released me without bail
I smiled when I left to go redeem my car
And that’s where this story should end—
But I’m afraid that it didn’t because two weeks later
I saw that crazy cop once again!
It was about eight-thirty on a cold Monday morning
When they presented my case to the court
That Cop sounded so silly recounting his story
That I gasped out a laugh and a snort
The Judge looked at me, said “Boy, you find something funny?
Just what has you so amused?”
I had the Right to Remain Silent but this time I thought
Maybe I ought to tell him the truth,,,
I said “He oughta talk about breaking the law
Have you ever seen the way that he drives?
I could understand if he were in an automobile chase
But what about when he’s out just killing time?
Now he’s built this whole case out of moonbeams and dreams
He just got mad at something I said.”
The Judge said “That’ll be thirty day for contempt of this court
Officers! Remove this man!”
Now I’m cooling my heels back in the regional jail
And that Cop is all smiles these days—
He giggles and grins as he slides me my supper
And reminds me that I still have twenty-five days!
It’s strange, but when you’re on the inside looking out through the bars
The Right to Remain Silent suddenly makes sense
So I just give him a nod and I pick up my fork
Before my mouth logs another offense…
Pendragon
© Friday, June 20, 2014