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DieterM
06-11-2014, 10:18 AM
Paris and a rooftop terrace,
whispered orange secrets in the air,
honks and yells wafting up
towards our urban garden
from the streets, the distance,
someone quarrelling maybe
or a car accident
or a revolution,
no one cares,
and the Eiffel Tower blinks,
our steel neighbour,
telling stories of World Fairs
and scandalous women in crinoline dresses
on velocipedes,
and we’re sprawled out
on cushioned plastic furniture,
and someone puts on
the Eurythmics singing ‘I got a Life’,
and everybody stirs and rolls eyes
and moans inwardly
‘Oh please, spare me!’,
and all the girls are called
Marie-Something

There’s Marie-France playing
with the branches of the huge weed plant
that rustle in the soft winds,
and there’s Marie-Claire murmuring about
her ex-husband buying
another Russian princess for his princess collection,
and there’s Marie-Jeanne spilling her Cosmopolitan
over Marie-Christine’s Gucci dress
then chirping ‘Sorry’ without meaning it,
and there’s Marie-Laure rolling another joint
with trembling fingers,
and we seem to be flirting,
on the verge of tears,
seem to be sitting
on the edge of something,
never sure whether to topple or to keep floating

Someone puts on
British Dub Step Deep House,
and the break beat starts,
Nadine Shah's voice singing hoarsely ‘I am hellbent’,
Marie-Chantal is the first
to stand up and move to the music,
eyes closed, hair flying around her like a sorry halo,
and she’s wearing a playful unhappiness
like a pearl necklace around her throat,
and Marie-Christine stands up, too,
and dances, savage,
her pin needle gaze unfocused on the city haze,
and I am constantly unweaving
my ancestry line by line,
trying to remember
when has been the last time that I drowned
and whether I enjoyed it
or not

virtuoso
06-12-2014, 03:17 PM
I really liked the title, Dieter. It drew my interest right away. The poem is a veritable smorgasbord of Salon humor. I love the chic descriptions!

DieterM
06-13-2014, 02:31 AM
Glad you liked it, virtuoso. This was a trip down memory lane (not for the music but for the rest) back when I came to Paris and landed (for no particular reason at all) in some hip circles I quickly fled, anxious that my brain cells might shrink and vanish.

Haunted
06-20-2014, 09:50 PM
Excellent portrayal. Just the right amount of cynicism. They all came to life, like I was there myself. Just one little quibble: you used secret twice and they are so close to each other… suggest "hidden urban garden" instead.

DieterM
06-23-2014, 02:30 AM
hey, haunted, happy that you liked it. and you're absolutely right, there's one secret too much. I guess the secret in "secret garden" can be left out without altering the whole piece, huh?

WolfLarsen
06-25-2014, 03:06 PM
I like the first paragraph or stanza the most. There are some excellent lines there.

Some people say "excellent for trail – I mean excellent portrayal – damn voice-recognition software. Anyway the right –, anyway their right, no, anyway there – anyway think the right. Well I think you know what I mean.

Ha ha ha ha.

Take care yourselves. If you don't already know find the word ergonomics means, find out what ergonomics means, so you don't have to use voice ignition software one day. It sucks. Well I think so anyway.

Have a great day!

AuntShecky
06-25-2014, 03:55 PM
This easily could have been a rant or verbiage from somebody who likes hearing himself talk but happily 'tisn't as it seems as if the speaker is sharing secrets with a solitary reader. There's a confidentially yours, "entre nous" snarkiness about it. So I give it a Thumbs Up.