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RMDuChene
05-27-2014, 05:41 PM
About the streets of London

clad in slippered feet

searching darkened venues

where the right ones I may meet


I lead them to the alleys

I rip them in the dark

I stain my leather apron

each night I do my work


I did my dance with Mary Ann

two slashes side by side

in my hands, I held Chapman’s womb

before I hit my Stride


A hurried slash and a fatal gash

sent Catharine far from mind

for I was running late, I had a date,

and with Kelly, I took my time

Jerrybaldy
05-30-2014, 10:20 AM
Jack the ripper I guess? The rhyming bothers me. You start off with a true rhyme of feet/meet and then it's near rhymes of dark/work etc. The rhyming also forced you to mess with syntax in "where the right ones I may meet"
This reminds me why I am not a big fan of rhyme.. but that's just my opinion.

The leather apron was a good choice of title. It made me want to read it.

RMDuChene
06-01-2014, 07:16 PM
Thank you for the feedback, Jerrybaldy. My favorite poems aren't rhyming ones either and for much the same reasons. As a poet, I'm definitely a novice.