Gilliatt Gurgle
05-24-2014, 08:31 AM
The Sub Urbane Symphony
A round up of four badly written installments previously submitted sporadically in the “Write a really bad poem” thread.
Please set aside some time, grab a bottle of Drambuie, relax and enjoy.
I appreciate your patience and understanding, it is important that I do this.
First Movement; Allegro Moderato
Please listen as you read:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KHzfD6XLK7Q
(Yo Yo Ma Bach cello suites)
Yo...yo, ma!
Yes dear, more milk
and habanero's?
No...no ma,
look, the cello player
across the street.
He... he begs
for sump'n sweet.
I'll take him to Brahms, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braum's
weel be right Bach.
Aye...aye, then ul be pass'n
by the market I suppose.
Here...here's my Liszt
an weel be need'n some
beets for dinner.
But...but what about
my wood Chopin?
Don't...don't be fret'n oer that,
weel burn peat tonight.
Oh...oh, an stop by Wagner's
an pick up one of those
new fangled Beetovens.
Second Movement; Affannato
Please listen as you read:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oBDmAxS...%3DoBDmAxSFt6A
(Itzhak Perlman & Yo Yo Ma Dvorak’s Humoresque)
Itz...itz, a Pearl man!
Oh, you sweet dear,
a pearl for your mum.
No...no, he's straddlin the various. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soil_Stradivarius
What air ye curry in oon uhboot noo lad?
Cannuh yeh nah finis uh sentence?
I'll strap yer hind quarters wi' thistle,
ee ye doon star mak'n sense!
The various what?
T'aint...t'aint no riddle
I mean to say, he's boowin uh fiddle.
An...an on 'is Bach a painting he totes
uh velvet painting of murky moats.
Sweet mother of Walter Scott's goost!
That'd be oono them Aberdeen hawkers
peddl'n tha new trashy Mozart.
'An just look ow they're pushin it
on the junk Mahlers too!
Send eem oon is way boy
an gee Bach ere an pull
those beets from the Beetoven.
I'll serve 'em wi gruel.
Third Movement - Calamine Lotion Reprise
Scherzo Fester Itcho
Originally presented on Easter
Please listen as read:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQhza6uo92Y
(Kraftwerk Franz Schubert
There…there you go Bert,
now you’re get’n a Handel
o’ color’n them eggs
for th’ Easter ensemble
Look! the moats art hawker,
he comes through the gate
all red with uh rash
even the top o’ is pate!
Well put on yer Schubert
an’ run down to stop him
take the calamine
and tub to soak in.
Where’ve you been Haydn,
you velvet sham?
In a cove on loch Shasta
caught in ivy, hunt’n Easter ham.
Aye…then you’ll be suffr’n from that nasty Shostakovich!...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmCnQDUSO4I
Fourth Movement -A Mother’s Day Suite
Rondo Affectionado
Originally presented on Mother’s Day
Please listen as you read:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmOClcEk124
(Saint-Saëns Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso)
What cacophony hies from yer room Bert?
Turn doon that deavin rock man…enough!
Whutsa ma, you want to hear Rachmaninoff?
Nae boy, I’d rather not hear any ting atoll.
Unless it’s the pipes boy…
Aye, I’ll take the pipes ‘o Pan on the ides of May.
Play them now on yer dear ‘ol mum’s special day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rjbrqcQ5Sw
An who’s this slit skirt lass as got yer kilt in a flutter?
When ‘ul you get uh rondo intruducin yer mudder?
Her name is Camille, she’s from Saint Saëns;
a capricious bird, with a bow on her sconce.
She took the low road from the south of France.
If she’d taken the high road, she’d nae dusted ‘er pants.
You could uh ridden Debussy lassie for nary a pence,
it stops at firth and forth, right next to our fence.
Ach naw! it’s tha painter of moats token on a missile,
look’n like a clatty wraith wi uh dose ‘o jump’n fits.
Higher ‘an Abbey Craig from smok’n too much thistle,
your faether would say he’s got a bit ‘o the “Heifetz”…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeApec5uZMU
A round up of four badly written installments previously submitted sporadically in the “Write a really bad poem” thread.
Please set aside some time, grab a bottle of Drambuie, relax and enjoy.
I appreciate your patience and understanding, it is important that I do this.
First Movement; Allegro Moderato
Please listen as you read:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KHzfD6XLK7Q
(Yo Yo Ma Bach cello suites)
Yo...yo, ma!
Yes dear, more milk
and habanero's?
No...no ma,
look, the cello player
across the street.
He... he begs
for sump'n sweet.
I'll take him to Brahms, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braum's
weel be right Bach.
Aye...aye, then ul be pass'n
by the market I suppose.
Here...here's my Liszt
an weel be need'n some
beets for dinner.
But...but what about
my wood Chopin?
Don't...don't be fret'n oer that,
weel burn peat tonight.
Oh...oh, an stop by Wagner's
an pick up one of those
new fangled Beetovens.
Second Movement; Affannato
Please listen as you read:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oBDmAxS...%3DoBDmAxSFt6A
(Itzhak Perlman & Yo Yo Ma Dvorak’s Humoresque)
Itz...itz, a Pearl man!
Oh, you sweet dear,
a pearl for your mum.
No...no, he's straddlin the various. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soil_Stradivarius
What air ye curry in oon uhboot noo lad?
Cannuh yeh nah finis uh sentence?
I'll strap yer hind quarters wi' thistle,
ee ye doon star mak'n sense!
The various what?
T'aint...t'aint no riddle
I mean to say, he's boowin uh fiddle.
An...an on 'is Bach a painting he totes
uh velvet painting of murky moats.
Sweet mother of Walter Scott's goost!
That'd be oono them Aberdeen hawkers
peddl'n tha new trashy Mozart.
'An just look ow they're pushin it
on the junk Mahlers too!
Send eem oon is way boy
an gee Bach ere an pull
those beets from the Beetoven.
I'll serve 'em wi gruel.
Third Movement - Calamine Lotion Reprise
Scherzo Fester Itcho
Originally presented on Easter
Please listen as read:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQhza6uo92Y
(Kraftwerk Franz Schubert
There…there you go Bert,
now you’re get’n a Handel
o’ color’n them eggs
for th’ Easter ensemble
Look! the moats art hawker,
he comes through the gate
all red with uh rash
even the top o’ is pate!
Well put on yer Schubert
an’ run down to stop him
take the calamine
and tub to soak in.
Where’ve you been Haydn,
you velvet sham?
In a cove on loch Shasta
caught in ivy, hunt’n Easter ham.
Aye…then you’ll be suffr’n from that nasty Shostakovich!...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmCnQDUSO4I
Fourth Movement -A Mother’s Day Suite
Rondo Affectionado
Originally presented on Mother’s Day
Please listen as you read:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmOClcEk124
(Saint-Saëns Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso)
What cacophony hies from yer room Bert?
Turn doon that deavin rock man…enough!
Whutsa ma, you want to hear Rachmaninoff?
Nae boy, I’d rather not hear any ting atoll.
Unless it’s the pipes boy…
Aye, I’ll take the pipes ‘o Pan on the ides of May.
Play them now on yer dear ‘ol mum’s special day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rjbrqcQ5Sw
An who’s this slit skirt lass as got yer kilt in a flutter?
When ‘ul you get uh rondo intruducin yer mudder?
Her name is Camille, she’s from Saint Saëns;
a capricious bird, with a bow on her sconce.
She took the low road from the south of France.
If she’d taken the high road, she’d nae dusted ‘er pants.
You could uh ridden Debussy lassie for nary a pence,
it stops at firth and forth, right next to our fence.
Ach naw! it’s tha painter of moats token on a missile,
look’n like a clatty wraith wi uh dose ‘o jump’n fits.
Higher ‘an Abbey Craig from smok’n too much thistle,
your faether would say he’s got a bit ‘o the “Heifetz”…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeApec5uZMU