Message to all the trees & space aliens & lightbulbs!!!

[WolfLarsen]

MESSAGE TO ALL THE TREES & SPACE ALIENS & LIGHTBULBS!!!
A Proclamation by Wolf Larsen

I want to make something absolutely clear. I am no longer a space alien! I am now a testicle in the crotch of a gigantic monster that's sitting peacefully outside of your window.

I proclaim the following: ALL FISH WILL BE SUBJECTED TO SEARCHES RIGHT AWAY!
I proclaim the following: THE BLUE SKY IS DISEASED!
I proclaim the following: I HAVE NOT CHANGED MY UNDERWEAR IN THREE DAYS!

Meanwhile, the ballet dancers are moving like sunshine & rain. My television hasn't spoken to me in days. However, my penis & my right hand are in constant communication.

I proclaim the following: FROM NOW ON THE WORD PENIS SHALL BE CAPITALIZED!

The canvas has been talking to me in fast food. It is an empty canvas. But I have my hopes that it will bloom with everything!

I proclaim the following: ZIP BOOM BEEP-ZOOK-JOOOOOP-BLAAAAAM!!!
I proclaim the following: I AM NOT CRAZY! EVERYONE ELSE IS CRAZY!!

She jumped millions of vaginas at me! I still couldn't figure out what day it was it was or what city I was in.

I proclaim the following: RED and BLUE and GREEN and ORANGE!
I proclaim the following: TRADITIONAL LITERATURE IS HEREBY ABOLISHED!!

My feet have walked away with my testicles. My testicles are giving a speech to all the space aliens. The space aliens are driving nuclear submarines through the sewage pipes of the city. WATCH OUT!

WATCH OUT!
WATCH OUT!

She whispers her own bellybuttons to you. How could you write poems without bellybuttons?! I want to insert bellybuttons into my computer!!

I proclaim the following: I LOVE MY PENIS!!!


Copyright 2014 by Wolf Larsen

[miyako73]

Wolf, can you share what you've been smoking?

I need craziness in my writing... "a koi fish with eyes that are pearls" sounds childish.

[YesNo]

You have a distinctive humorous style, Wolf, unless you know of someone else who writes like this. Like you, I also believe in the phrase, "EVERYONE ELSE IS CRAZY!!" although they seem to believe the same thing.

[DocHeart]

You're getting worse, aren't you? Well, thank FUKC for that. May I join you with a story I haven't written about a woman who serves chocolate nipples in her daughter's graduation party WITHOUT any shoes on? Keep rebelling. Words like right, wrong, incoherent, succinct, incorrect, awe-inspiring, formulaic, original, refreshing, pregnancy, railing and pharmacognosia must be banned from your vocabulary by you, but put this in the active voice so it is more readily communicable, i.e. catchy, therefore:

[WolfLarsen]

Thank you all of you. Doc Heart you make me smile!

Unfortunately Miyako the only thing I've had to smoke lately is a cigar now and then.

Although I was in Holland about half a dozen times. That was very very yippeeeeeeeeeee!

And in Alaska it was quasi-legal. As long as one didn't sell it, you know marijuana, the police didn't care, you could smoke all you wanted to, we only did it on days when there was no work.

It doesn't help with the creativity as much as you might think. Although I did write a poem called "Rotterdam Park Bench" while under the influence of pot. I read it at the Green Mill Tavern in Chicago. It made people so mad they nearly rioted. I wish now that I had gone ahead and finished reading the poem, then maybe I would have been honored with a full-scale riot just like Igor Stravinsky and Mahler.