Lost Souls

[moejo]

One of many poems that I have written please share your honest opinion whether good or bad, all I want is to share what I think is talent in every way possible.


Born to this life
Where everything seemed nice
With a bright smile
Everything looks right
A skater on ice
Till it just cracked
Am I alright?

I smile and look alright
But deep inside I fight
When worst my smiles ignite
I can't feel the difference
Compressed feelings
another smile ignites

They wish they were me
Happiest person living this life
But I'm the toughest fighting this fight

People leaving day and night
Accidents and suicide
I can't believe my eyes
Never give up just fight
Life is short forget suicide
Here's a note
Together we will fight

Born with a quest
Fulfill life at its best
Strong even when stressed
Winners never rest
Lets win this fight
Overcome peoples judgments
Prove were blessed

Even if we're complex
think for a minute
This is your life hiding in a chest
Life's short forget
Save the regret
Here's a bet
Every life has a quest
Use time and invest
On this heart beating off your chest
I request that being depressed shall not be in your play list
But instead
A happy soul surrounding us all
A person with a goal
Self-control within their heart and soul
This is perfection
Within the righteous of us all
Not the deception
Filled by society
An insane reality
Crushing our souls
For this life is yours to control

Mohammed Nasser Al-Jahadhmi

[WolfLarsen]

Who cares what everybody else thinks?

Just write whatever you want to write!

Anyway, I kind of liked it, except for the rhymes.

Rhymes in contemporary poetry to me sound like nails on blackboard.

Anyway, I've read far worse poems. Also, when I first started writing poetry my poems were far worse.

[moejo]

Thanks for your comment
I don't usually write types as such but this was inspired
And It's not that I doubt my poems or anything
It's good to get pointers every now and then about what you write or maybe its just me