Good guy

[Jerrybaldy]

"You're still one of the good guys, right? "
The end of her stiletto heel was next to the crap.
Some f ucker's dog had pooped
And some f ucker had failed to scoop.
She was chewing wrigleys
After the flavour ran off.
" A good guy, that's you right?"

" I'm not your daddy"
He exhaled cigar smoke in stale syllables.
She licked the clumps of red number 7
From the corners of her lips.
Searching for tenderness.

"Look, love" he began,
She stepped forward
Stiletto softly piercing.
Kissed his bleeding lip.
Toyed her head on his lapel
Inhaled his musk of yesterday.

A Hansel and Gretel Shi t trail
Showed us their way to the woods.

[DieterM]

Some here say you've become dark. Whether that is true or not, you're still as much a poet. Even when talking about trivial scenes. I did like your latest offerings, I do love this one. All those little details that make the scene lively. The flavour-less wrigleys, the clumpy red #7. Always a pleasure to read you, and it will always remind me why I come back here again and again.

[Haunted]

Good guy. Ha, yeah right. Reads like the beginning of a horror story. Great storytelling Jerry. Enjoyed!

[WolfLarsen]

Not exactly great poetry.

Not exactly creative either.

But I liked its crudeness. I liked its reality. I liked its brutality. These are things often missing in poetry.

In terms of poetry the best line was: "He exhaled cigar smoke in stale syllables."

In terms of poetry not exactly a great line, but not exactly bad, actually pretty good.

[DocHeart]

I would like this to be a short story, perhaps about 7,000 words. It would make good summer-evening-veranda-lounging-with-future-wife reading.

[stephofthenight]

I'm with DocHeart on this one, Would be interested to see a short story