Proof reading Literature essays?

[Marcas]

Literature essays to be proof read

[Marcas]

Alexie’s use of language is very compelling and emotive, as he maintains a comical tone throughout the novel to draw upon the implied reader’s interest; for that reason, readers are more engaged to the protagonist. Moreover, Alexie utilizes an informal dialogue throughout the novel, aims appeal to the readers’ sense of identity to relate to Arnold’s life and his childhood. Furthermore, Alexie employs an array of figurative language, for instance, “But I do know that hope for me is some mythical creature’ (Alexie 2008, p.51), the use language establishes a representation to the implied reader to relate Arnold’s ambition as he hopes for a better life; when he decides to transfer to a new school; thus allowing him to make a difference in his life. In this manner, this fabricates an emotion of hopefulness or what could it suggest about his life. Moreover, Alexie use of a metaphor “ I was going to be his Weapon of mass destruction’ (Alexie 2008, p. 142), thus readers is able to instil a vivid image connecting Arnold with his coach, and how his coach thinks of him as a confident player, when he destroys the opposing team in a basketball match in the novel. Alexie’s, use of imagery in relations to the school conveys a symbolic meaning to Arnold’s emotional attachment to the school because of his best friend Rowdy, who he leaves behind; when he transfers to his new school.


Is somebody able to proof read this? Tell me how i can fix it, please

[luhsun]

Big words, long winding sentences, trying too hard to be eloquent. In psychology,we call this circumstantial writing.

[Marcas]

Please explain how to fix it? rather then just commenting

[luhsun]

Use short words. Shorter sentences. Perhaps tell us what you want to say. My english teacher would just throw it across the room..but then that's the old asian style. Usually proof reading is on completed galley proof, to give final finishing touches, comment .. if i fix it, then i am the author ;-)

[Vota]

There is nothing wrong with big words and long sentences, if this style is natural to the writer. I think your point luhsun, is that one should not try to write this way if it does not come naturally to them, otherwise they may come off as being a pretentious wind-bag.

[kev67]

Alexie’s use of language is compelling and emotive. He maintains a comical tone throughout the novel to draw the reader’s interest. For that reason, readers are more engaged to the protagonist. Alexie uses informal dialogue throughout the novel. He appeals to the reader's sense of identity to relate to Arnold’s life and childhood. Furthermore, Alexie employs an array of figurative language techniques, for instance, “But I do know that hope for me is some mythical creature’ (Alexie 2008, p.51), the use language establishes a representation to the implied reader to relate Arnold’s ambition as he hopes for a better life; when he decides to transfer to a new school; thus allowing him to make a difference in his life. In this manner, this fabricates an emotion of hopefulness or what could it suggest about his life. Moreover, Alexie use of a metaphor “ I was going to be his Weapon of mass destruction’ (Alexie 2008, p. 142), thus readers is able to instil a vivid image connecting Arnold with his coach, and how his coach thinks of him as a confident player, when he destroys the opposing team in a basketball match in the novel. Alexie’s, use of imagery in relations to the school conveys a symbolic meaning to Arnold’s emotional attachment to the school because of his best friend Rowdy, who he leaves behind; when he transfers to his new school.


Is somebody able to proof read this? Tell me how i can fix it, please

I started but I got bored. I think it would take 10x as long to fix as it took to write.

[sandy14]

Alexie’s use of language is very compelling and emotive, as he maintains a comical tone throughout the novel to draw upon the implied reader’s interest; for that reason, readers are more engaged to the protagonist. Moreover, Alexie utilizes an informal dialogue throughout the novel, aims appeal to the readers’ sense of identity to relate to Arnold’s life and his childhood. Furthermore, Alexie employs an array of figurative language, for instance, “But I do know that hope for me is some mythical creature’ (Alexie 2008, p.51), the use language establishes a representation to the implied reader to relate Arnold’s ambition as he hopes for a better life; when he decides to transfer to a new school; thus allowing him to make a difference in his life. In this manner, this fabricates an emotion of hopefulness or what could it suggest about his life. Moreover, Alexie use of a metaphor “ I was going to be his Weapon of mass destruction’ (Alexie 2008, p. 142), thus readers is able to instil a vivid image connecting Arnold with his coach, and how his coach thinks of him as a confident player, when he destroys the opposing team in a basketball match in the novel. Alexie’s, use of imagery in relations to the school conveys a symbolic meaning to Arnold’s emotional attachment to the school because of his best friend Rowdy, who he leaves behind; when he transfers to his new school.


Is somebody able to proof read this? Tell me how i can fix it, please

You have crammed too many points into one tiny paragraph. First you mention the use of emotive & compelling language - give us examples and then tell us what this language does. Then you mention informal dialogue - again without any examples or elaboration . Then you mention figurative language and develop it a bit and lastly you mention imagery in relationship to the school and Rowdy, again without any examples or elaboration.

You could have a paragraph on figurative language and how it is used and then a paragraph about imagery and maybe one about the protagonists relationship with Rowdy.

Your quotation starts with " and ends with ' - you need to be consistent -use one or the other, but not both.

References to "the implied reader" or the "implied reader's interest" muddy things up. Say what effect you believe it is designed to have on the reader.

Readers are - not readers is, in relation to - not in relations to.

[Ruben Meijerink]

I don't think you use the semicolon ; correctly. You can replace the first two with '-'s maybe. And you must get rid of the last one.

Kind regards,

Ruben

[luhsun]

Thank you, vota, for dramatically illustrating the low-downs to marcas. I fear i do not have your flamboyance and flair.