The Nuns

[DATo]

The Nuns

by

*DATo*

I dedicate this poem to all the nuns I knew in my youth ; whose dedication to my intellectual and moral development made my life a living hell.

See the school yard of the nuns - happy nuns.
What a sight of joyful merriment to which all fear succumbs !
The children are all squealing
Their delight is most appealing
To my mother now revealing -
"I will stay, stay, stay, until my dying day.
I'm enraptured by the bounty of emancipated fun,
With the nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns,
And the smiling happy faces of the nuns."

Hear the school bell of the nuns - austere nuns.
What a scene of metamorphosis upon the school yard comes !
All the children have stopped playing
All their actions now displaying
Resignation and behaving
As they march, march, march, beneath a gothic arch
Which demarcates the light of day from vision by the torch.
Now I run, run, run, what else could I have done ?
Only to get whacked across the back and dropped upon my bum
By a nun, nun, nun, nun, nun, nun, nun,
By a black enormous raven called a nun.

View the classrooms of the nuns - efficient nuns.
Sense the iron determination of their sole purpose 'neath the sun.
As I stumble to my seat
I look for avenues of retreat
Like a prisoner to the rock pile with a ball chained to his feet.
As I cry, cry, cry
I lift my childish eyes
To a spectacle of horror
Instilling in my breast new terror
For on the front wall o're the border
Is a man, man, man
With a nail clear through each hand
And one more through his feet
I rise up from my seat
In a slow, dazed, wide eyed silence, now gazing with a pause
On the tiny shrunken figure in his undies on a cross.
Then I scream, scream, scream, in my panic for it seems
If they can do this to a grown up man they'll do far worse to me.
I start to pee, pee, pee, I can't control it don't you see,
For I'm struck with holy terror by a sight which all- benumbs
For converging now upon me are the nuns, nuns, nuns -
A full battalion comes.
I am snarling in the corner baring nails and teeth and gums
At the nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns,
At the Green Berets of St. Renee's the nuns.

See my mother with the nuns - consoling nuns.
They speak to her of options for her maladjusted son.
I am taken to a room
To be slaughtered, I assume
But the nuns are smiling once again and hope dispels my gloom.
A lady enters now
"A CIVILIAN , HOLY COW ! SHE MUST HAVE FLUNKED HER NUN EXAM ".
( my mother feels my brow )
But the lady smiles so sweetly
That my fears depart completely
She announces "I'm Miss Wheatly."
"I WILL STAY, STAY, STAY WITH MISS WHEATLY " now I bray
" I will stay a day and then I may stay yet another day."

As the silent nuns depart
I turn my back to them and fart
It's the only farewell to them that it suits me to impart.
I kiss mama goodbye
As she wipes her tearful eyes,
As she leaves I hear her sigh,
" What has he done, done, done
Of all my impish sons
I'd never say I'd see the day when one would bite a nun
Bite a nun, nun, nun, nun, nun, nun, nun,
The poor devoted creature, the poor nun. "

As the children straggle in
I can't hear above the din
A girl is throwing things and screaming
A boy is pricking her with a pin.
One is doing somersaults and landing on his head
Anothers lying on the floor I think that he is dead.
Miss Wheatly smiling all the while calmly starts the task
Of restoring order to the place "What is this place ?" I ask.
"Why don't you know, its the Special Room "
She says with painted smile.
My hands are cold and clammy in my mouth I taste the bile.
"LET ME OUT OUT OUT OF THE 'CRAZY ROOM' " I shout,
"I'NE NOT HALF AS CRAZY AS THE NUNS AND THEY LET {{{THEM}}} MOVE ABOUT!!!"
The boy upon the floor now begins to snore
Another child is going wild and beating on the door.
"You're a whore, whore, whore,- Miss Wheatly you're a whore !
I don't know what a whore is but you are one ten times more !
For you smiled at me so sweetly and you tricked me oh so neatly
And you fooled me so completely and ..."
But Wheatly proves unmoving;
Her smile shows no reproving;
And in a voice that's almost soothing ...
"You will take your seat or your little butt I'll beat.
I've seen the likes of worse than you I've never known defeat.
In my family tree there runs a branch back to the Huns
And if I weren't pretty they would have let me join the nuns.
Join the nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns.
Oh how I yearn to be all I can be - a nun !"

See the convent of the nuns - dreadful nuns.
What a sense of welling terror o'er my childlike psyche comes
As we pass before their door
I feel my heart will beat no more
Till I pass beneath it's shadows like a rabbit 'neath the guns
Of the nuns, nuns, nuns, -
To mother, "LET US RUN !!!
I'VE BEEN LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER AND I THOUGHT I SAW SOME NUNS"
Everywhere they go but they leave no tracks in snow
For they float above the ground with anti-gravity you know !
As we make our way back home I make plans to leave for Nome
Or to other places on the earth where nuns are yet unknown.
I think on distant suns where impaired machinery hums
They manufacture without warranty
The nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns, nuns,
Non-returnable, unforgettable ... nuns.


/

[WX6[ck]]

Wow. I immensely enjoyed reading your poem. There is a strong contrast between the adult themes and playful delivery which helps put the reader in the shoes of this child. I feel the terror, betrayal, isolation this child endures. I love all the different ways you portray a nun in this poem.

There are lovely rhymes but I think there are a few lines that don't read so smoothly. Great poem you've written!

[DATo]

Thanks WX. Glad you liked it.

The entire story, of course, is viewed through the eyes of the kid which are obviously in error of the actual facts. Conversely, the adults are unable to interpret what is going on in the child's mind so they simply think he is nuts. *LOL*

You may have noticed that to give an extra sense of foreboding to the story I chose to use the meter and the ascending urgency of the drama found in Edgar Allen Poe's poem, The Bells.

Thanks again!

[YesNo]

I don't know much about nuns, but I had a third grade teacher, who was probably quite nice, but who gave me the creeps. My first and second grade teachers only left positive impressions. When I think about them now, they were probably all in their early twenties and stumbling through life as much as I was. Interesting poem. It got me thinking.

[joseph engraver]

Great poem, made me laugh I can see that we may have common experience's. Look up joseph engraver at Engraving forum.com see Water cooler

[AuntShecky]

So this one goes back to May! No wonder it took me a while to find it.

It certainly works as a parody, following the pattern of the original "Bells." Good choice, too, appropriate somehow in a "Bells of St. Mary" kind of way.

The verse is pretty funny, even though it echoes the common opinion (and not entirely accurate) of the good sisters
as imperious and not above using physical force in their punishments. In my own education the nuns whom I encountered weren't quite as fearsome, but on the other hand certainly not like Ingrid Bergman in the aforementioned movie.

This was nonetheless fun to read. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

Auntie

[Hawkman]

I'm sorry I missed this one first time around. Very enjoyable. One can have a lot of fun with nuns (http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?58563-Nuns-with-Guns&p=994912&viewfull=1#post994912) :D

Thanks for sharing.

Live and be well - H

[DATo]

So this one goes back to May! No wonder it took me a while to find it.

It certainly works as a parody, following the pattern of the original "Bells." Good choice, too, appropriate somehow in a "Bells of St. Mary" kind of way.

The verse is pretty funny, even though it echoes the common opinion (and not entirely accurate) of the good sisters
as imperious and not above using physical force in their punishments. In my own education the nuns whom I encountered weren't quite as fearsome, but on the other hand certainly not like Ingrid Bergman in the aforementioned movie.

This was nonetheless fun to read. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

Auntie

Thanks Auntie,

To be perfectly honest I owe what meager writing skills and appreciation of reading I now possess to the maligned subjects of my poem.

It might interest you to know that several decades after my last encounter with The Penguins I took the time to write several of them to express my long overdue and sincere gratitude for the gifts they imparted to me - gifts which I was too ignorant to appreciate when I was a child. Their discipline was indeed strict but I am grateful for every time I was made to stay after school for one infraction of the rules or another and for every whack I received with a yardstick. I'm sure I deserved it.

With this admission I hope to set the record straight and to beg the indulgence of anyone who may have taken umbrage with the tone of my poem, a poem which is meant to be viewed through the eyes of the child, and not the heart of the man he became.

[Jerrybaldy]

Really enjoyed this and I thought the rhyme and metre were excellent. Good job!

[DATo]

Thanks Jerrybaldy !

One night after I had gone to bed, for reasons I cannot fathom, I began to reminisce about the time I spent in school with nuns. I began to play with the idea of a poem and a few lines came to me. I tried to go to sleep but suddenly a few more lines came to me. Well, to make a long story short, I got up and started to write this poem. Pretty soon the lines were pouring out effortlessly and I was laughing out loud in spite of the ridiculousness of the whole thing and the late hour. What you have read was written in one sitting and I have purposely never modified one word of it. If ever a muse has suggested her presence and guided my pen it was the night I wrote this poem.

So glad you liked it!

[Delta40]

Great poem. Loved the descriptors of nuns combined with the repetitive lines.

[DATo]

Hi Delta,

Glad you liked it. It was fun to write. I only wrote it for myself but happy to learn that it has brought a few laughs to others. The nuns weren't THAT bad. You have to remember that this story is about a child's first impressions and his inability to make sense of what's going on. Actually I owe the nuns a lot as mentioned elsewhere in this thread, but they didn't fool around - you were going to behave and learn whether you wanted to or not *LOL*