Holding On

[jkim1812]

I'd appreciate receiving any feedback on this, thanks!

Holding On
My eyes strained to focus on the horizon as if it would
lead me to some resolve; or at least closure, your stitches offered
only a temporary solution to the deeper wounds that had been inflicted
You used to say I wouldn’t look at you the same if I knew.
If I really knew , but you looked
the same to me.

Time flowed under the bridge and we held hands
You wished that sometimes the water would you take with it,
you told me. Maybe it would wash away the blood,
and the cold could numb the pain, maybe all of the razorblades
would not mean anything anymore. I saw you
with the white sheet covering your body, in our bed. I saw you
on the cold metal table once as a fleeting moment in a dream before it
ever happened.

I would be with you now, if I could. But my hour has not yet come.
I wish that everything would be forever ago.
I stand in the grass above you as the wind blows,
the same winds that moved the water under the bridge,
just as the winds blow open windows and extinguish a candle, just as I must
let you go.

[colb2]

Very deep, the message is definitely grasped

[jkim1812]

I don’t completely remember what happened tonight
Longing for something that I know I will never have
A normal life maybe but the thoughts
thoughts racing in my head and I know that now it is only a matter of time
Before the bad thoughts come again and I
She says that she is worried about me but I am ok
It’s not even her place anyways
Men in white coats float
in and out of the room
Spewing out sterilized
words that don’t mean
anything to them
It’s an itching feeling that I just want to scratch but I know that I won’t be able to or at least safely
The nurse wakes me up
every two hours to make
sure that I am ok. The sun
rises and it falls as the shadows
move across the walls
I walked down the street and
locked eyes with someone
I don’t remember what he looked
like but I know that he knew
He said to me that he knew that I did too.
My mom told me that I could be anything when I grew up but
I don’t remember what happened tonight but I woke up
Longing for something I know I will never have