Biggus
04-25-2014, 07:20 PM
ARE YOU WEARING A LOOK OF DISAPPOINTMENT?
Are you wearing a look of disappointment?
Well I think you’re guilty of lily gilding
Because at your age using Viagra is like
Putting a new flagpole on a condemned building
DREDGING IS NO SILVER BULLET
Dredging is no silver bullet
Is the word coming from their ranks
But at least it would be something
To prevent rivers bursting their banks
While the environment agency
Just blindly keep on firing blanks
EXPLAINING TO A TECHNOGEEK
Elaine was trying to explain to her geeky boyfriend
How she had gotten pregnant, with no luck at all
So she put it into techno speak “when I uploaded
From your hard drive you didn’t use a fire wall”
ON MY VERY FIRST DAY AT PRIMARY SCHOOL
On my very first day at primary school
I handed, as instructed, a letter to my teacher
It was addressed to “whom it may concern”
And it had been written by my mother
It read “The opinions expressed by this boy
Are not in any way those of his mother or father”
IF YOUR EMPLOYEE GOES ALL RAGING BULL
If your employee goes all raging bull
Instead of his normal little sparrow
Just say “Easy there Mr Testosterone
Or I’ll replace you with a marrow
WOMEN DON'T MAKE FOOLS OF MEN
Women don't make fools of men
So don’t believe all the hype
Most men don’t need any help
They are of the do-it-yourself type
IS THE INTERNET A BLESSING OR A CURSE?
Is the internet a blessing or a curse?
As a medium for interaction it fine
But paedophiles operate in comfort
As they stalk their victims online
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 325
Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
And doesn’t know where to find them
But we all know that Greek Giorgio
Has already Kebabed them
THEY’D NEVER HEARD OF YOGURT
They’d never heard of yogurt
When my Mum was young
And putting it on your privates
Would’ve got you hung
ARE YOU WEARING IT FOR A LAUGH?
Are you wearing it for a laugh?
It’s overly sweet in fact it’s cloying
I know it’s supposed to be funny
But to me it’s just annoying
Are you wearing a look of disappointment?
Well I think you’re guilty of lily gilding
Because at your age using Viagra is like
Putting a new flagpole on a condemned building
DREDGING IS NO SILVER BULLET
Dredging is no silver bullet
Is the word coming from their ranks
But at least it would be something
To prevent rivers bursting their banks
While the environment agency
Just blindly keep on firing blanks
EXPLAINING TO A TECHNOGEEK
Elaine was trying to explain to her geeky boyfriend
How she had gotten pregnant, with no luck at all
So she put it into techno speak “when I uploaded
From your hard drive you didn’t use a fire wall”
ON MY VERY FIRST DAY AT PRIMARY SCHOOL
On my very first day at primary school
I handed, as instructed, a letter to my teacher
It was addressed to “whom it may concern”
And it had been written by my mother
It read “The opinions expressed by this boy
Are not in any way those of his mother or father”
IF YOUR EMPLOYEE GOES ALL RAGING BULL
If your employee goes all raging bull
Instead of his normal little sparrow
Just say “Easy there Mr Testosterone
Or I’ll replace you with a marrow
WOMEN DON'T MAKE FOOLS OF MEN
Women don't make fools of men
So don’t believe all the hype
Most men don’t need any help
They are of the do-it-yourself type
IS THE INTERNET A BLESSING OR A CURSE?
Is the internet a blessing or a curse?
As a medium for interaction it fine
But paedophiles operate in comfort
As they stalk their victims online
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 325
Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
And doesn’t know where to find them
But we all know that Greek Giorgio
Has already Kebabed them
THEY’D NEVER HEARD OF YOGURT
They’d never heard of yogurt
When my Mum was young
And putting it on your privates
Would’ve got you hung
ARE YOU WEARING IT FOR A LAUGH?
Are you wearing it for a laugh?
It’s overly sweet in fact it’s cloying
I know it’s supposed to be funny
But to me it’s just annoying