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View Full Version : A Little Bit Of Humour # 81



Biggus
04-19-2014, 05:16 AM
ARE YOU WEARING A SELF-SATISFIED EXPRESSION?

Are you wearing a self-satisfied expression?
It’s what I would expect from a banker
But in short what I’m actually saying
Is that I just think you’re a wanker

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 324

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To where the Vodka was stashed
And on the quiet moonlit hill
The two of them got smashed

WHEN WIMPY PREVAILED

When I was just a young man
Wimpy houses were prevailing
And a Big Mac was something
We wore when it was raining

WHEN MY DAD WAS A BOY

When my dad was a boy
There was no such thing as sushi
In fact during the depression
Eating raw fish was considered poverty

LEADERS OF THE GREAT NATIONS

Leaders of the great nations
Who want respect from society
Should moderate their behaviours
And steer clear of notoriety

ARE YOU WEARING THAT FOR A LAUGH?

Are you wearing that for a laugh?
Well you are a sight not to be missed
But given the fact we’re in church
I would suggest that you are pissed

THE INTERNET IS A CURSE AND NOT A BLESSING

The internet is a curse and not a blessing
When you develop a habit you can’t stop
And max out all of your credit cards
Without setting foot in a single shop

JUST A TANTALISING HINT OF THE EXOTIC

Just a tantalising hint of the exotic
Beneath the hem of your skirt
I’m interested in whatever it is
It’s quite driving me berserk

Can you give me the slightest hint?
Or be upfront I really don’t mind
I won’t be embarrassed at all
I love underwear of any kind

The garment into which you slipped
If it’s an under slip, something of that kind
If you were to slip yourself out of it
If you felt so inclined I wouldn’t mind

THE INTERNATIONAL SAILING RESULTS ARE IN

The international sailing results are in
The GB took the gold medal once again
While Somalia took a middle aged couple
who were on holiday from Colerain

IF YOU SEE A BOMB DISPOSAL MAN

If you see a bomb disposal man
Running away from the bomb
You should at least keep up with him
Or out run him with aplomb

YesNo
04-19-2014, 06:58 PM
My favorite was the one about Jack and Jill, but the last one had some good advice about what to do if the bomb disposal man starts running.

Biggus
04-19-2014, 07:22 PM
Thank you