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stuey
03-30-2014, 04:57 PM
Someone finds a tape recorder buried a few inches underground in a park in a well built up urban area, he clicks play, the following transcript is heard.


To everyone who hears this. We did it. The sixteen hundreds. Its amazing isn’t it Terry. (A much dimmer voice is heard) Ridiculous absolutely ridiculous. (The first voice is heard again) We haven’t seen anyone yet, its night time I think, there is nobody around. I think we're in a field or a farm or something.

**
(There is a small pause)


The suns just beginning to come up, we're both shattered, you okay Tez. (The same distant voice) Yeah I’m. ****, look people. (The first voice) Oh my god there's a group of like 15 people, maybe, coming up the road. They've ****ing seen us **** Terry what we gonna do. (Terry) Don’t ****ing move just stay still for **** sake. (The original voice) They're 'bout ten meters away they're on horses with a few carts and ****. I don't know. (Very quietly) Who b' you? (The first voice) I'm Harry and this (cough) this is Terry we come in peace. (There are very quiet whispers then again a very quiet voice) What are you wearing? (Harry) Jeans err Jeans, T shirts and hoodies.
(Harry whispers) They keep whispering to each other, I don't think they like us, this could get dangerous were gonna have to be very very careful. (There is a strange sound, like someone running, Harry shouts) No! Terry don't! **** (More sounds of running they are louder they are Harry's footsteps. Sounds of shouting from a distance) Hey! Get back! (A horse galloping. Harry speaks) They're ****ing chasing us, oh **** there quick. ****ing get off me you bastard! (There are sounds of a fight, You hear snippets of Terry) No.. Get off.. Time Travellers.. ****! (The person listening to the tape recording gasps. Harry shouts) Terry stop for gods sake!

**
(There is a small pause)

(Harry whispers) We are in a lot of trouble. We're in the back of one of their cart things. My arm hurts pretty bad and terry's leg looks ****ed up, I think it might be broken. (Terry moans) I'm so scared I’ve heard murmurs of witch, which is pretty ****ing bad. (There is what sounds like a bump on the road) You're probably wondering how we got here, well me and Terry did something amazing. Hold on we're stopping. Terry we're stopping. (A third voice, its clear) Both of you get out of th' carriage. (You hear Harry and Terry get out out of the carriage. Terry speaks) I don't think its broken. Ow ow no definitely not broken thank god. (You hear the third voice again) Go in there. (Harry) What is this place and who, who the hell are you. (The third voice) I am Saul Copperfield, head of the colonial authorities and this b' the Salem court house were you will be tried for witch craft. (Terry) Hold on what, witchcraft are you ****ing kidding me. (Saul) Sit down over here please. (The sound of footsteps on wooden floor. Harry speaks) **** they've got handcuffs I’m gonna drop you to the floor. (A bang, A few seconds later the sound of chains rattling against each other. Saul speaks) Don't say a word. (The only sound for the next thirty seconds was the sound of footsteps on wooden floor. Then silence for about ten seconds. Very quietly) All rise for Judge Jemiah. (You can barely hear the single footsteps of the judge entering and sitting. Barely Audible) You are being tried for witchcraft.


**
(There is a pause about one minute long)

(Harry speaks, you can hear the sound of quick footsteps on gravel) Oh god you've been off, They got Terry. The judge sentenced us to death by hanging! We both tried running but they got terry, his leg was ****ed. ****! The judge said it was 1692 that date means something I'm positive but I can't think what, it has something to do with Salem. **** I can hear horses they're going to catch me in about 30 seconds, I need you to listen, Me and Terry we did it we got back. Our work is at my house 222a, 43rd street, Salem you have to get to my house this needs to be exposed to the world (the footsteps stop, You hear harry grunt silence for 4 seconds then your hear a crash. Then silence. The tape re winds. Harry speaks)

To everyone who hears this we did it.

Stuart Martin
736

Calidore
03-30-2014, 08:47 PM
Since this story is meant to be a transcript of a recording, it would work much better written in script form. You can then make stage directions, as it were, of the fourth-wall-breaking parenthetical statements. Likewise, the story's first line should also be shown, not told. The author should never have step outside the story to tell the reader what's going on; it's the story's job to relate that.