Biggus
03-29-2014, 11:37 AM
ARE YOU WEARING TARTY GARB?
Are you wearing tarty garb?
Well I will say this for a start
You might well get picked up
But no one wants to date a tart
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 321
There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Unlike all her mates
Who had theirs waxed
WHAT KIND OF FOOD IS MUESLI?
What kind of food is Muesli?
It’s really rather absurd
On the farm it’s not dissimilar
To what we feed the herd
WHEN I IGNORED THE SATNAV
When I ignored the Satnav
I actually heard it scoff
And when I said “I’ll go my way”
It told me to sod off
HOW MANY PENSIONERS DOES IT TAKE?
How many pensioners does it take?
To change a light bulb that’s blown
Only one, but it might take all day
To get around to it on their own
A DOCTOR DROWNED IN A WATER HOLE
A doctor drowned in a water hole
Which goes to prove at any rate
He should have thought about the sick
And left the well alone mate
TWO PSYCHICS
Two psychics stopped and the first one said
As by chance they happened to meet
“You're feeling good today. How am I?”
As they met one another in the street
SHE WAS DEFINITELY ONE FOR A BARGAIN
She was definitely one for a bargain
Olympic standard if I had a hat I would doff
She liked a bargain so much she had her husband
Circumcised for the sake of ten percent off
YOU ARE NOT MY CUP OF TEA
You are not my cup of tea, though
You’re not beyond help to be sure
But admitting you’re an *******
Is the first step towards a cure
ARE YOU WEARING A SENSUAL AIR?
Are you wearing a sensual air?
It seems that you are not even aware?
But it flows from each and every hair
I’m sorry i don’t mean to stand and stare
But sensuality follows you everywhere
Are you wearing tarty garb?
Well I will say this for a start
You might well get picked up
But no one wants to date a tart
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 321
There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Unlike all her mates
Who had theirs waxed
WHAT KIND OF FOOD IS MUESLI?
What kind of food is Muesli?
It’s really rather absurd
On the farm it’s not dissimilar
To what we feed the herd
WHEN I IGNORED THE SATNAV
When I ignored the Satnav
I actually heard it scoff
And when I said “I’ll go my way”
It told me to sod off
HOW MANY PENSIONERS DOES IT TAKE?
How many pensioners does it take?
To change a light bulb that’s blown
Only one, but it might take all day
To get around to it on their own
A DOCTOR DROWNED IN A WATER HOLE
A doctor drowned in a water hole
Which goes to prove at any rate
He should have thought about the sick
And left the well alone mate
TWO PSYCHICS
Two psychics stopped and the first one said
As by chance they happened to meet
“You're feeling good today. How am I?”
As they met one another in the street
SHE WAS DEFINITELY ONE FOR A BARGAIN
She was definitely one for a bargain
Olympic standard if I had a hat I would doff
She liked a bargain so much she had her husband
Circumcised for the sake of ten percent off
YOU ARE NOT MY CUP OF TEA
You are not my cup of tea, though
You’re not beyond help to be sure
But admitting you’re an *******
Is the first step towards a cure
ARE YOU WEARING A SENSUAL AIR?
Are you wearing a sensual air?
It seems that you are not even aware?
But it flows from each and every hair
I’m sorry i don’t mean to stand and stare
But sensuality follows you everywhere