Photograph

[Lykren]

submitted

[Lykren]

Here's a revised version:

submitted

[AuntShecky]

Some nice imagery here, though parts of it are hard to picture in my mind's eye. Why the shift in verb tense in the second stanza ("strophe")?

Good effort.

Auntie

[Lykren]

Some nice imagery here, though parts of it are hard to picture in my mind's eye. Why the shift in verb tense in the second stanza ("strophe")?

Good effort.

Auntie


The reason for the change in tense is that the wind has caused the leaves to shift and cover up the sunlight, so that the shafts of dust which were there before are now gone. Thanks for commenting! Here's another (!) revised version (the sections modified from the second version are in bold):

submitted

[Delta40]

I like the subtle rhyme in the poem. I read the second version first and like it the best!