Seaweed

[Lykren]

Evade winter, they say.
Attempt the sad sea light.
The darkness concedes
a grasp of anatomy,
interiors too flat
and smooth to crawl.
I reach for the shutters,
and the dim luminescence
rains in, across the sheets
and over your eyes.

[blank|verse]

I realise I need another adjective than 'intriguing' to describe your poetry, Lykren, but I feel compelled to use it again here.

It's hard to piece this all together successfully; one is left with a general sense or mood, which isn't in itself displeasing, but neither is it particularly satisfying because I feel I'm having to do a bit too much work myself.

The opening two lines set a rather contradictory tone: that although we're being advised to 'evade winter' (because it's grim and depressing, somewhat sad?), in the next line we're told actively to 'attempt the sad sea light'. 'Attempt' is an interesting verb, almost as if the imperative were aimed at an artist attempting to paint or capture the sea light on a canvas. Then, we're brought to an interior of a bedroom or hotel room perhaps, being next to the sea, where the contradictory tone of the poem finds further expression in the oxymoron 'dim luminescence'. There's a suggestion of low-key sexuality with the mentions of 'anatomy' and the bedsheets, perhaps that this relationship is a means of 'evading winter'; but although the narrator opens the shutters to help the light fall across his partner's face, it is the 'sad' light, so it's hard to tell if this has improved matters greatly.

[Lykren]

Thanks for replying, blankverse. Your replies are always thoughtful and considered.

Dim luminescence was not intended as an oxymoron; I simply meant it in the sense of 'faint light'.