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View Full Version : A Little Bit Of Humour # 68



Biggus
02-14-2014, 07:41 AM
THE ST VALENTINE’S DAY MASSACRE

The St Valentine’s Day massacre
That was a bloody occasion
Which just shows what happens
If you don’t make a reservation

ARE YOU WEARING YOUR HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE?

Are you wearing your heart on your sleeve?
I know you’re in love that I truly believe
But I still don’t know if you’re in love with Eve
Or if your preference is for her brother Steve

I WAS ONCE A MEDICAL STUDENT # 6

I was once a medical student
But it was harder than I thought
I was asked about terminal illness
Which isn’t being ill at an airport

21ST CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 294

Eppie Marly's thinks she’s fine,
And won’t go out to herd the swine,
She lies in her bed till eight or nine,
The lads on the farm all think its fine

KARL MARX LIKED HERBAL TEA

Karl Marx liked herbal tea
In his place on the left
And he preferred it because
All proper tea was theft

SHE SAID SHE LIKED THE FOUR SEASONS

She said she liked the four seasons
When we first met
So for our first anniversary
I bought her a cruet set

I GOT A TABLET FOR MY BIRTHDAY

I got a Tablet for my Birthday
My wife said “Hip hip hooray”
And I lost all interest in the plasma
When I saw it was Viagra

OPTIMISTS SEE THE WORLD

Optimists see the world,
Each and every day anew
Through Rose tinted lenses
The tint of mine is blue
Which colour my world
With everything I view

I JUST BOOKED A TABLE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY

I just booked a table for Valentine's Day
For me and my wife
I hope she likes it, even though she can’t
Play snooker to save her life

ARE YOU WEARING NYLON PANTS?

Are you wearing nylon pants?
There can be no other explanation
Because every time you get aroused
It affects the TV reception

Jack of Hearts
02-14-2014, 03:37 PM
lulz proper tea!!!






J

Biggus
02-14-2014, 04:48 PM
Thanks Jack I'm glad I got you again

AuntShecky
02-14-2014, 06:22 PM
Love ALL of 'em, especially the closing two.

The Karl Marx one is your best one ever, in all 68 batches!

Keep 'em comin'.

Biggus
02-18-2014, 05:22 AM
Thanks Aunty

YesNo
02-18-2014, 09:01 AM
That was a nice one about the massacre on valentine's day.

Biggus
02-20-2014, 04:50 AM
Thank you

Jerrybaldy
02-22-2014, 07:56 PM
How the hell did you resist the temptation in posting #69?

Biggus
02-25-2014, 05:09 AM
Strong willed Jerry