I wrote a couple of poems...

[Lykren]

...and don't feel like making separate threads for them.

I

stone waves
rolling under me
the unfinished world
silently colors

the sea counts
our time together
space without wind
end without end

pause without breath

II

Yellow-Rumped Warbler:

In my room I found you
trying to flee through shut windows.
What was it you wanted?
Afternoon light.

[blank|verse]

Beautiful.

I always look out for your poems, Lykren, and they rarely disappoint. Here, I particularly enjoyed: 'the unfinished world | silently colors' from the first poem, which is worthy of John Ashbery; but they're both successful vignettes, wonderfully observed and thoughtful.

The only minor suggestion I'd make is to place the question mark at the end of the second poem:


What was it you wanted -
afternoon light?

as it sounds a bit too certain as the poem stands.

[Lykren]

Thanks for the kind remarks, blankverse. The reason I don't have a question mark at the end is because i don't want afternoon light to appear to be specifically an answer to the question, more of an incidental observation. Which may be problematic in its own ways.