A Little Bit Of Humour # 63

[Biggus]

I’VE ENROLLED MY DAUGHTER # 1

I’ve enrolled my daughter in a class
Which caused her to exclaim
It was on Paralleled Parking
Which is quite a simple aim
Preferably in less than an hour
And without an Insurance Claim

ARE YOU WEARING A BALL GOWN?

Are you wearing a ball gown?
And it’s a designer one too
Well you’re a bit over dressed
For feeding time at the zoo

I WAS ONCE A MEDICAL STUDENT # 2

I was once a medical student
And asked to name a major illness
Associated with smoking cigarettes
I was wrong with premature death

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 308

Mary had a little van
She also had a mini
I never saw her little van
But I have seen her mini

DUE TO A WATER SHORTAGE IN WOKING

Due to a water shortage in Woking
The Council has issued an edict
And the swimming pools response
Is to close lanes four, five and six

I TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO MY EX WIFE

I tried to explain to my ex wife
The basic premise of reincarnation
Which is that when you die you get
To return as part of God’s creation
But, you come back as a different creature
After a moment’s thought she said
“I want to come back as a cow “
The concept had clearly gone over her head

WHEN I PHONE A WOMAN

When I phone a woman
And talk dirty to her
I’m a sexual harasser

But when a woman
Talks dirty to me
I am a good customer

ARE YOU WEARING A HAIR PIECE?

Are you wearing a hair piece?
Well that shouldn’t be a gobsmack
The wig is a shade of brown
And your own hair is jet black