Loneliness

[free]

Day has the form of a cube
The form of the room
In which my loneliness spins
From ceiling to floor
Bodiless and untouchable
Like a dream

Night is the time of swimming
When my loneliness surfs
Over the waters of darkness
It is not aware of itself
And me - it despises

Silently
It protects itself
Against the sounds of my song
Taking a good care
Not to blossom
Into a sweet and fragrant comfort

[osho]

This has a beauty and yes isolation, pangs of pain, ache of heart all take shape and form. Your poem has something ineffably superb. You prove both – a driver of emotive expressions and sergeant of human situations.




Day has the form of a cube
The form of the room
In which my loneliness spins
From ceiling to floor


These lines have matchless expressions

[free]

This has a beauty and yes isolation, pangs of pain, ache of heart all take shape and form. Your poem has something ineffably superb. You prove both – a driver of emotive expressions and sergeant of human situations.




These lines have matchless expressions

Thank you, osho. I am very happy you like it. :)

[108 fountains]

I like it very much, too. I especially like the tension between "loneliness" and the narrator. The last verse says so much about the narrator and gives we readers a sense that we have heard a fragment of her "song."

[Delta40]

I really like the imagery your poem incites but I am in conflict how loneliness is not aware of itself, yet despises you and protects itself.

[free]

I like it very much, too. I especially like the tension between "loneliness" and the narrator. The last verse says so much about the narrator and gives we readers a sense that we have heard a fragment of her "song."

Thank you very much. It is exactly like that: there is the tension, some feelings get so strong that they can take the life of their own. You have noticed it so perfectly.

[free]

I really like the imagery your poem incites but I am in conflict how loneliness is not aware of itself, yet despises you and protects itself.

Thanks, Delta. Oh, well, these kinds of things escape from our microscopic observation, from our analysis. They just present themselves and don't care whether we understand them or not. :)