Game
01-21-2014, 07:05 PM
I've been throwing around this idea in my head, basically a plot for a fantasy book. Not sure I'll be able to finish it, but I decided I'd give it a shot, if anything, I would at least enjoy the process.
Here's what I have so far, some opinions would really help me. I haven't really heard much feedback on any of my attempts, so I'm honestly not sure if this is going to be good.
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“Vince, how long have we been walking?” I hear from behind, his tone’s pretty firm for a guy who’s been walking for over thirteen hours. “Relax, we’ll get there.”
“I realize you enjoy torturing anything and everything with your vagueness, but some of us have wives to get home to.” Tim says.
I pause. “You don’t have a wife.”
“Some of us. Not me in particular.”
I’m not sure what he means, but I know it’s best to just let it go.
Tim passes me, his steps getting sloppier and slower for a moment. I catch up, which isn't hard, and look at him for a moment.
“What?” He looks back at me. His steps are still sloppy, albeit swifter to keep up with me.
Something catches my attention and I turn my face forward. Tim does the same. At this point we’re both frozen. My eyes trail off in the distance.
“You hear that?” I ask.
“Was that a real question?”
I almost turn to gaze at Tim with a straight mouth, to show my protest for his quips. But I stop myself. It’s not a good idea to look away in this type of situation. Potential danger, definitely not to be messed around with.
“It’s all corn.” Tim raises his foot in the air, and for a brief moment, I see it go through the motion of walking, but slowly. My arm lunges itself onto his chest, he emits a soft sound as he drops on his back.
I’m lying on my chest, silently taking the pain of a large, (probably blunt as well) stone that’s separating my chest-bone from the ground. This flimsy human body isn’t ideal for carrying the most potent artifact in the universe. And in a cheap backpack too.
I raise my head slowly, as to not alarm any potent being that might be after me and Tim. I see a small critter, no, human, walking through the corn fields. He, no, she’s getting closer to the path we’re walking on. She’s going to cross it. I get up, and Tim looks at me from the ground for a second. I nod.
“Thanks a bunch. You almost tore this body apart. You know how much this thing cost me?”
I ignore Tim; we both grabbed some bodies we found lying around in hell. He’s obviously making another joke. But I don’t kid when it comes to protecting the Artifact. Though he has a point, I should probably treat our bodies with greater care. This thing tears, and the artifact stays with it. Not a good thought.
I hadn't noticed the child getting so close to us, and it startled me for a moment. Tim grabs a thick piece of stick and jams it in the ground to help him crouch. His body is probably twice as old as mine. He looks at the child, and gets a bit closer with the help of the cane. I stay put.
“Hey.” Tim talks to the child, who seems to not be over just a few human years. Her head stays low, along with her gaze. She seems to be lacking either water, food, or both. I’m not sure she can digest all this corn in its specific state, and I do feel bad for it. But then again, we can’t help her out too much, it's too risky.
The girl didn't answer yet, and Tim’s mouth seems a bit tighter. His eyebrows furrow, and just before he raises his head, his eyes widen.
“Spawn!” He yells and swiftly thrusts the stick at the child, who falls on its back quite dramatically. And for a moment, I see Tim’s eyebrows loosen, and his body almost twitches towards the child. My hand immediately stands firmly on his chest, gently pushing him backwards.
The child gets up and finally looks at us. Her eyes are pitch-black, and a chuckle escapes me as I hear the sigh of relief from Tim’s mouth.
“You really think this is better?”
“Well, doesn’t really matter now.” Tim answers, and I catch a glimpse of a grin before he takes another step back. I do the same, and I now feel it as well, this is definitely no human.
But it’s not really a threat either, since every creature that rises up from hell gets his powers cut off. So, basically this is just a little girl that’s going to try and kill us.
“What do you want to do with it?” Tim asks.
I notice the growing bloodstain the thing is developing, that stick hit it hard.
“The Three are definitely not making this any easier. I mean, an adult, I can handle, but a kid? Man. If they weren’t already in hell!”
“I wouldn’t. We don’t know…”
“---We don’t know what? You seriously think they can hear us? They’re demons, nothing more than us, nothing less.” Tim cuts me off.
He sighs. I keep my eye on the girl, that’s now struggling to get up.
“We can’t just leave it here.” Tim looks at me.
“We obviously can’t take it with us.”
“Why not?” Tim answers
“Are you serious?”
A few moments of silence are filled by attempts to get up and some thrashing around from the thing’s body.
“Tim, this isn’t a little girl, this is a creature they, for some reason, sent after us.” I say silently.
The supposed little girl throws a fist on the ground, and just a tiny flash of flame shows up. It fades away swiftly, like a match thrown into some cold water.
“Looks like it had some powers, too.” I say.
“Look, let’s just leave it here. Nobody’ll even see it out here, and it’ll die on its own.” Tim says.
“If you don’t want to do it, I’ll do it.” I reply.
“Yeah, you getting a bunch of baby blood on you would help out if we see some humans. Thanks for the stupid input, Vince.”
I sigh. “You either do it, or I’m going to do it.”
Silence follows, and Tim gets his left hand out the pocket in his robe. He crouches, just far enough from the hellish being. His left knee just barely touches the ground, for a slight moment, and it’s over.
The wind puts out the small twigs that caught on fire, as well as slowly spreads the ashes all over the seemingly never-ending corn field.
“You know, she used to be just a little girl.”
“She hasn't been a little girl in quite a while now.” I reply.
Some dust scatters and flies away into the corn field as I step on the place where the creature used to be.
Here's what I have so far, some opinions would really help me. I haven't really heard much feedback on any of my attempts, so I'm honestly not sure if this is going to be good.
-----------------------
“Vince, how long have we been walking?” I hear from behind, his tone’s pretty firm for a guy who’s been walking for over thirteen hours. “Relax, we’ll get there.”
“I realize you enjoy torturing anything and everything with your vagueness, but some of us have wives to get home to.” Tim says.
I pause. “You don’t have a wife.”
“Some of us. Not me in particular.”
I’m not sure what he means, but I know it’s best to just let it go.
Tim passes me, his steps getting sloppier and slower for a moment. I catch up, which isn't hard, and look at him for a moment.
“What?” He looks back at me. His steps are still sloppy, albeit swifter to keep up with me.
Something catches my attention and I turn my face forward. Tim does the same. At this point we’re both frozen. My eyes trail off in the distance.
“You hear that?” I ask.
“Was that a real question?”
I almost turn to gaze at Tim with a straight mouth, to show my protest for his quips. But I stop myself. It’s not a good idea to look away in this type of situation. Potential danger, definitely not to be messed around with.
“It’s all corn.” Tim raises his foot in the air, and for a brief moment, I see it go through the motion of walking, but slowly. My arm lunges itself onto his chest, he emits a soft sound as he drops on his back.
I’m lying on my chest, silently taking the pain of a large, (probably blunt as well) stone that’s separating my chest-bone from the ground. This flimsy human body isn’t ideal for carrying the most potent artifact in the universe. And in a cheap backpack too.
I raise my head slowly, as to not alarm any potent being that might be after me and Tim. I see a small critter, no, human, walking through the corn fields. He, no, she’s getting closer to the path we’re walking on. She’s going to cross it. I get up, and Tim looks at me from the ground for a second. I nod.
“Thanks a bunch. You almost tore this body apart. You know how much this thing cost me?”
I ignore Tim; we both grabbed some bodies we found lying around in hell. He’s obviously making another joke. But I don’t kid when it comes to protecting the Artifact. Though he has a point, I should probably treat our bodies with greater care. This thing tears, and the artifact stays with it. Not a good thought.
I hadn't noticed the child getting so close to us, and it startled me for a moment. Tim grabs a thick piece of stick and jams it in the ground to help him crouch. His body is probably twice as old as mine. He looks at the child, and gets a bit closer with the help of the cane. I stay put.
“Hey.” Tim talks to the child, who seems to not be over just a few human years. Her head stays low, along with her gaze. She seems to be lacking either water, food, or both. I’m not sure she can digest all this corn in its specific state, and I do feel bad for it. But then again, we can’t help her out too much, it's too risky.
The girl didn't answer yet, and Tim’s mouth seems a bit tighter. His eyebrows furrow, and just before he raises his head, his eyes widen.
“Spawn!” He yells and swiftly thrusts the stick at the child, who falls on its back quite dramatically. And for a moment, I see Tim’s eyebrows loosen, and his body almost twitches towards the child. My hand immediately stands firmly on his chest, gently pushing him backwards.
The child gets up and finally looks at us. Her eyes are pitch-black, and a chuckle escapes me as I hear the sigh of relief from Tim’s mouth.
“You really think this is better?”
“Well, doesn’t really matter now.” Tim answers, and I catch a glimpse of a grin before he takes another step back. I do the same, and I now feel it as well, this is definitely no human.
But it’s not really a threat either, since every creature that rises up from hell gets his powers cut off. So, basically this is just a little girl that’s going to try and kill us.
“What do you want to do with it?” Tim asks.
I notice the growing bloodstain the thing is developing, that stick hit it hard.
“The Three are definitely not making this any easier. I mean, an adult, I can handle, but a kid? Man. If they weren’t already in hell!”
“I wouldn’t. We don’t know…”
“---We don’t know what? You seriously think they can hear us? They’re demons, nothing more than us, nothing less.” Tim cuts me off.
He sighs. I keep my eye on the girl, that’s now struggling to get up.
“We can’t just leave it here.” Tim looks at me.
“We obviously can’t take it with us.”
“Why not?” Tim answers
“Are you serious?”
A few moments of silence are filled by attempts to get up and some thrashing around from the thing’s body.
“Tim, this isn’t a little girl, this is a creature they, for some reason, sent after us.” I say silently.
The supposed little girl throws a fist on the ground, and just a tiny flash of flame shows up. It fades away swiftly, like a match thrown into some cold water.
“Looks like it had some powers, too.” I say.
“Look, let’s just leave it here. Nobody’ll even see it out here, and it’ll die on its own.” Tim says.
“If you don’t want to do it, I’ll do it.” I reply.
“Yeah, you getting a bunch of baby blood on you would help out if we see some humans. Thanks for the stupid input, Vince.”
I sigh. “You either do it, or I’m going to do it.”
Silence follows, and Tim gets his left hand out the pocket in his robe. He crouches, just far enough from the hellish being. His left knee just barely touches the ground, for a slight moment, and it’s over.
The wind puts out the small twigs that caught on fire, as well as slowly spreads the ashes all over the seemingly never-ending corn field.
“You know, she used to be just a little girl.”
“She hasn't been a little girl in quite a while now.” I reply.
Some dust scatters and flies away into the corn field as I step on the place where the creature used to be.