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virtuoso
01-21-2014, 04:45 PM
Throbbing words pulsating through heart
then coursing through a sentient vein
Potent issue bleeding from carbon mind
spilling onto the skin-grained parchment
that covers the fibrous tissue of warmed soul

But standing in the wings,
A dark shadow hovers
over the pulsating body
with an acerbic spout
waiting to gush over
the carbonated tissue,
baring the crusty outline
of an itinerant writer

Neither poet nor journalist,
a scholar with no pedigree;
A self-acclaimed critic
towering over brimming lines
with a spring-loaded flare pen

Seeking the main artery,
he shreds the tender tissue
connecting muscle to the mass,
and with his penetrating tip
gashes open a deep wound--
seething words that cut to the bone
Using a tight, finely-tuned clamp
constricts the smooth flow of ideas
and with an incisive scalpel
fragments each phrase, clause
abridging the fibrous context
de-linking the conjunctive veins

Then stitches together the narrowed channels
with a thinly-threaded suture, abrasions remain
Once structured lines now have no glow
The dark stains seep onto the blunted page
Perforated segments of rotting flesh swell
Deep scars form on the soiled surface--
spliced words, dissected ideas

All that can be salvaged
from the heinous crime scene
the bared essence of a body
framed by a devilish pen

Delta40
01-22-2014, 07:19 PM
Very powerful V. The first stanza should go though as it sounds like a preamble. Your start point - Standing in the wings...

Great read.

virtuoso
01-22-2014, 10:01 PM
Thanks for your kind comments and bottom-line critique, Delta! I kind of need the first stanza, because it shows the dedicated, inspired writer publishing his, unwitting work. The passionate writer and the dispassionate reviewer are seminal components in the poem. I thought that I needed to illustrate the writer's passion in stanza one, and follow suit by revealing the smug critic in stanza three. But, if a chorus of naysayers joins the chorus, then I might drop stanza one. Anywho, your thoughts and opinions are always greatly appreciated.

Delta40
01-22-2014, 10:53 PM
I thought it was all there myself but I suck big time at reviews!

virtuoso
01-23-2014, 10:32 AM
No problem, mate! Everybody has their own preferences. I do not expect casual, non-cutting reviews. Your opinion counts in my book!