Confession

[sundarramchand]

Dear Dad and Mom (my closest friends)
Forgive me,
Not for my bouts of laziness,
My clumsiness, my absent mindedness,
My somewhat indulgent / profligate ways,
And even my failure as a dutiful son
Inexcusable though some of these may have been
(And which you may or you may not)
But please , please forgive me
for all the tender conspiracies
of silly, gentle, funny moments
broken by irritability , anger , judgementalness
and even rare moments of unkind humor , even if unsaid
or just plain self absorption


Forgive me ,
Not for those moments of cowardice / weakness,
(Though i may be ashamed of them)
But please, please forgive me for those small betrayals of trust
Which do not have the excuse of weakness

Forgive me ,
For any act (by omission or commission)
That sought to undermine the soul / spirit of any individual in any way


Forgive me
For breaking the promises
Made to ourself,
Of not letting age and other circumstances limit possibility,
Of not letting can and want and possible degenerate to cant and should,
Of not letting conventional bonds destroy what was special in relationships,
Of remembering Individual quirks,
Of not letting guilt destroy relationships

Forgive me,
For all your jokes that i may not have laughed at,
For all the special occasions that i may have missed
For all the hurts that cannot be publicly punished
and which seem silly on confessing
(Somewhat like washing clean linen in public ??)
For any act ,
that inflicted those "small" defeats
that rankle so much

Forgive me,
For holding back even the slightest
during affectionate moments

Forgive me,
For all the poems / stories that i could have written but did not write,
For all the formulae / discoveries that i could have come out with but did not,
For all the inventions i could have developed but did not,
For all the relationships that i could have entered into but didn't ,
For all the lives that i could have touched but didn't