MatanLevi
01-04-2014, 02:26 PM
Hey guys, this is my first try ever at writing any sort of story and I'd really love to get some feedback on it.
Here it goes...
Heart beating heavily, almost strong enough to open some of the top buttons on the neat blue shirt he was wearing shyly. A shirt that usually finds its place sitting in the back of the closet without hope of ever seeing even a glimpse of daylight, a shirt, just about a week away of being to small to fit him. The only blue shirt he owns, she likes blue. ''this time, just do it, say 'hello', no, say 'hi', 'hello' is weird'' he thought to himself as he gazed upon her walking in the general direction he was standing at. It was winter now, so her eyes where a light, clear grey, opposed to the summer, when her eyes turn to a sharp emerald, with leftovers of the winters grey, hugging her iris tightly from the sides, as if scared that without its help the green would leak into the pure white of the eye, forcing her to forever see in many shades of green. She was getting closer, the two friends she was walking with before had gone together in a different direction, leaving her walking by herself. Thanks to his clever strategy of moving a few meters to the right, she was still walking in his general direction. Over the last few weeks he had thought up many different scenarios of what might happen when he finally summons the courage to speak to her, some where good scenarios, some where bad but all where not slightly realistic in the eyes of a sane human being, but then again, he was not a sane human being, see, he was in love. She was now close, so close he could hear the sound of her heel-high converse colliding with the floor, every step so graceful she could leave the ground longing for the feeling of being stomped upon by hard rubber shoes. She had by now semi passed by him, busy thinking of how pretty her cheeks were, with each freckle sitting there comfortably waiting to be acknowledged, knowing the'll hear nothing but compliments, he almost missed her. The time was now critical, it was now or never, he had to say something before she passed by him completely, his lips opened, a small, quick ''hello'' sneaked out. ''sh*t'' he thought to himself, angry at his mouth for betraying his minds plans of using the much cooler ''hi''. He now stood still, awaiting a reply whilst staring at her lips. The same lips he had examined a thousand times before, lips, covered with an un-even, un-balanced red and pink, the opposite of what you'd expect on such a beautiful girl, as if whatever had created her made those lips as a reminder that nothing is perfect in this world, ironically, making her look even more beautiful and perfect. She said nothing, no reply, she didn't even stop for a second to look at him. Not allowing himself the even think of the option that maybe, just maybe, she had heard the 'hello' and ignored him on purpose, he led himself to believe that he had once again spoken to quietly, thinking to himself '' I'll try again in the summer, just one more time. I prefer green anyway''.
Here it goes...
Heart beating heavily, almost strong enough to open some of the top buttons on the neat blue shirt he was wearing shyly. A shirt that usually finds its place sitting in the back of the closet without hope of ever seeing even a glimpse of daylight, a shirt, just about a week away of being to small to fit him. The only blue shirt he owns, she likes blue. ''this time, just do it, say 'hello', no, say 'hi', 'hello' is weird'' he thought to himself as he gazed upon her walking in the general direction he was standing at. It was winter now, so her eyes where a light, clear grey, opposed to the summer, when her eyes turn to a sharp emerald, with leftovers of the winters grey, hugging her iris tightly from the sides, as if scared that without its help the green would leak into the pure white of the eye, forcing her to forever see in many shades of green. She was getting closer, the two friends she was walking with before had gone together in a different direction, leaving her walking by herself. Thanks to his clever strategy of moving a few meters to the right, she was still walking in his general direction. Over the last few weeks he had thought up many different scenarios of what might happen when he finally summons the courage to speak to her, some where good scenarios, some where bad but all where not slightly realistic in the eyes of a sane human being, but then again, he was not a sane human being, see, he was in love. She was now close, so close he could hear the sound of her heel-high converse colliding with the floor, every step so graceful she could leave the ground longing for the feeling of being stomped upon by hard rubber shoes. She had by now semi passed by him, busy thinking of how pretty her cheeks were, with each freckle sitting there comfortably waiting to be acknowledged, knowing the'll hear nothing but compliments, he almost missed her. The time was now critical, it was now or never, he had to say something before she passed by him completely, his lips opened, a small, quick ''hello'' sneaked out. ''sh*t'' he thought to himself, angry at his mouth for betraying his minds plans of using the much cooler ''hi''. He now stood still, awaiting a reply whilst staring at her lips. The same lips he had examined a thousand times before, lips, covered with an un-even, un-balanced red and pink, the opposite of what you'd expect on such a beautiful girl, as if whatever had created her made those lips as a reminder that nothing is perfect in this world, ironically, making her look even more beautiful and perfect. She said nothing, no reply, she didn't even stop for a second to look at him. Not allowing himself the even think of the option that maybe, just maybe, she had heard the 'hello' and ignored him on purpose, he led himself to believe that he had once again spoken to quietly, thinking to himself '' I'll try again in the summer, just one more time. I prefer green anyway''.