his and hers

[cacian]

the love in her eyes
the smiles in his eyes
they constantly oppress
the feelings they confess
in each other's pres
neither keen to stress
expression is the best
when it comes
to test lovers' weakest rest
loving longer says
words are all the trust
to making feelings just
never mind the lust

[YesNo]

Nice initial two lines and last line. The "oppress" in the third line hints of tension between the couple that somehow gets resolved in the last four lines. I enjoyed it.

[cacian]

Nice initial two lines and last line. The "oppress" in the third line hints of tension between the couple that somehow gets resolved in the last four lines. I enjoyed it.

YesNo thank you for reading. glad you enjoyed it :)

[Mohammad Ahmad]

OK! This it has a good sound but "oppress" is dissonant, but it goes acceptable with the following rhyme "stress".
Generally it isn't problem to change the rhyme of the third line to be harmonious with the fifth line and so on.

[cacian]

OK! This it has a good sound but "oppress" is dissonant, but it goes acceptable with the following rhyme "stress".
Generally it isn't problem to change the rhyme of the third line to be harmonious with the fifth line and so on.

Mohammad thank you for reading and commenting :)