twist
12-23-2013, 09:59 PM
It was a black and white November evening. A man carrying a briefcase and umbrella tipped his hat at his neighbour who was also on his way home. All the bay windows in the street were dimly lit or not at all. A tall slim shadow was cast as he passed under a streetlight. The man climbed the few steps to his front door, turned the key and turning round looked up at the charcoal sky before stepping in and shutting the door behind him.
The black cat crouched on the wall opposite watched as he went in. Shortly, a pale, crescent moon made a brief appearance from behind a smoky cloud. The cat continued to watch as a light came on in the front room and another bay window in the street indicated occupancy.
It was an hour later when the living room light extinguished and the man stepped out again. The night had cleared and the crescent moon followed his thin frame as he took long, quick strides towards the main road.
I'd be grateful for any comments on this beginning and any ideas since I'm a bit stuck!
The black cat crouched on the wall opposite watched as he went in. Shortly, a pale, crescent moon made a brief appearance from behind a smoky cloud. The cat continued to watch as a light came on in the front room and another bay window in the street indicated occupancy.
It was an hour later when the living room light extinguished and the man stepped out again. The night had cleared and the crescent moon followed his thin frame as he took long, quick strides towards the main road.
I'd be grateful for any comments on this beginning and any ideas since I'm a bit stuck!