What are the books that helped you in real life situations?

[krishna_lit]

We all undergo, as a part of human living, many low situations in life. And in those times, we will be really in need of moral support, like a hand of the friend on our shoulders.. and some of our best friends are Books!

In this post I request you all to share the information of those books that, after facing a failure, helped you to again become what you truly are at the roots of your heart. Please do share the experiences of what the situation was that made you feel low in life and what books you read in those times that made you bounce back to live the life again than just merely survive it!

Note: The information we share here might be very useful to other people who are facing similar situations in their lives or that of their friends' and may be it would even help those that are looking for the kind of books to gift their friends which would help boost up their minds!

Thank you all very much :)

[JBI]

What is with this focus on the "self help" quality of literature. This third-age philosophizing of literature is detrimental. Since when was literature supposed to be concerned with real life situations? In my mind literature does not make you feel good, rather it lets you know that others feel bad too, and therefore gives you a sense of echo to your own sentiments.

If you are so depressed, you should read less and go outside more. Reading is a depressing act, in that it does not transcend the page. Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy may get married at the end, but when the last page closes, so too does their story. The limitations of vicarious living can only take one so far through literature, where the real experience is far harder to grasp. Every poem must necessarily die with every reading, and cannot become tangible.

[krishna_lit]

What is with this focus on the "self help" quality of literature. This third-age philosophizing of literature is detrimental. Since when was literature supposed to be concerned with real life situations? In my mind literature does not make you feel good, rather it lets you know that others feel bad too, and therefore gives you a sense of echo to your own sentiments.

Self-help quality of literature is something that comes along with many books for some people. They see books not as a part of so called "literature" but as a pathway for experiencing a part of real world in various dimensions which are otherwise not seen around them in the society/neighborhood they live in. The viewpoints presented in some books might provide a new way of looking at something that they encounter in the real world... This need not mean as philosophizing the literature. Am not saying that literature is supposed to be concerned with real life situations but am pointing out that it just does in many instances.


If you are so depressed, you should read less and go outside more.
Outside is the world that caused them those low situations and it is not always possible for them to turn to it immediately unless they pick themselves up and for that books offer a big helping hand.


Reading is a depressing act, in that it does not transcend the page. Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy may get married at the end, but when the last page closes, so too does their story. The limitations of vicarious living can only take one so far through literature, where the real experience is far harder to grasp. Every poem must necessarily die with every reading, and cannot become tangible.

Reading is not a depressing act, but thinking it is is. Yes, when the last page closes, so too does the story carried on it, but definitely not what one learned from the feelings he/she experienced all along the book.

Anyways, thanks for sharing your views and insights on this aspect.. I learned something new from your response! Thanks :)

[luhsun]

The bible is one of the most read self-help book. Aw..shucks, i always get depressed reading the brimstones and fire parts.

[krishna_lit]

For me the books that helped my life very well were The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and The Magic of Thinking BIG by David J. Schwartz and You can Win by Shiv Khera! They really stirred my mind when I was in great need of it.

[krishna_lit]

The bible is one of the most read self-help book. Aw..shucks, i always get depressed reading the brimstones and fire parts.

Thanks for the response, mate! :)

[chrisvia]

This probably should've been posted in the spiritual or philosophical literature forums. For me, general literature has never been something I turned to for help in tough times, and I believe this is the literature JBI is addressing. In general, major readers don't read literature to relate to it personally but to get outside themselves and experience the work as a means, not a means to an end.

[luhsun]

Krishna did start off rather presumptuous: his brazen choice of the word 'we' did grate on me as an impertinent act of dragging me and all others into his world view.
But he is a young chap, crowing exultantly his belief that books can snap us out of depression. JDI was rather cruel in slapping awake peter pan.
I dont think we are talking serious religion or philosophy. The bible thingy on my part was just me baiting the bull.

[Clopin]

'Wuthering Heights' and 'A Hero of Our Time' both inspired me to not be such a pussy. Also long distance running... running helps.

[Clopin]

What is with this focus on the "self help" quality of literature. This third-age philosophizing of literature is detrimental. Since when was literature supposed to be concerned with real life situations? In my mind literature does not make you feel good, rather it lets you know that others feel bad too, and therefore gives you a sense of echo to your own sentiments.

If you are so depressed, you should read less and go outside more. Reading is a depressing act, in that it does not transcend the page. Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy may get married at the end, but when the last page closes, so too does their story. The limitations of vicarious living can only take one so far through literature, where the real experience is far harder to grasp. Every poem must necessarily die with every reading, and cannot become tangible.

I think it's totally reasonable to assume that plenty of people facing personal difficulties have found some solace or temporary escape (perhaps that's all they needed) in works of fiction. You're just being a fusspot. Reading probably won't solve - in the literal sense - your problems for you, nor bring to pass a concrete solution; but I don't really think this thread topic is so egregious.

[krishna_lit]

But he is a young chap, crowing exultantly his belief that books can snap us out of depression.
Yeah , I somehow do!

JDI was rather cruel in slapping awake peter pan.
That was funny.. but thanks! :)


I dont think we are talking serious religion or philosophy. The bible thingy on my part was just me baiting the bull.

Yeah no serious talking, of course... Yes i'm just a young chap and younger still at literature... I just try to collect opinions to my usual questions over here, from those who are very well read, like you all people!

Thank you for your response!

[krishna_lit]

I think it's totally reasonable to assume that plenty of people facing personal difficulties have found some solace or temporary escape (perhaps that's all they needed) in works of fiction. You're just being a fusspot. Reading probably won't solve - in the literal sense - your problems for you, nor bring to pass a concrete solution; but I don't really think this thread topic is so egregious.

That was supportive.. Thanks :)

[Bill 42]

I found The Elected Member by Bernice Rubens to be an emotionally difficult read for me. It's about a family with a son who is addicted to drugs. Other members of the family blame this son for a lot of their dysfunction, and use his continued drug use as a reason for not confronting their problems.

Another difficult book for me was The Caine Mutiny by Herman Wouk. It's about an American ship's captain during World War II. He was borderline incompetent, and insecure about this. He tried to hide it by being angry and vicious.

These books were difficult for me because they shed some light on my difficulties dealing with my parents. I was considered the black sheep of the family (they're all very religious and I'm not at all religious), and I was blamed for a lot of their problems, much like the drug-addicted son. My father was angry and distant, and could over-punish if I was accused of doing something wrong (even if I didn't do it or it wasn't done at all), much like the incompetent captain.

This leads me to my point: good books can act like mirrors. When I read these books, I had reactions to different parts and characters of the book. These reactions helped me to understand what I was going through, and why. I went through three long periods of depressive-like symptoms in my life, and these books helped me to understand the source of the problems. I can see myself by my reactions to what I read. Sometimes the book acts like a bathroom mirror (good likeness), and sometimes it acts like a carnival mirror (crazy distortions for comedic effect). Figure out which book is acting like which mirror type is difficult; you'll have to read a lot of books to help you understand.

[Calidore]

I think the book most likely to help me out of trouble is my Bevington Complete Shakespeare. It's big and heavy enough to both make a good weapon and to stop a blade or a bullet.

[krishna_lit]

These books were difficult for me because they shed some light on my difficulties dealing with my parents. I was considered the black sheep of the family (they're all very religious and I'm not at all religious), and I was blamed for a lot of their problems, much like the drug-addicted son. My father was angry and distant, and could over-punish if I was accused of doing something wrong (even if I didn't do it or it wasn't done at all), much like the incompetent captain.
Thank you so very much for sharing such a personal experience...



This leads me to my point: good books can act like mirrors. When I read these books, I had reactions to different parts and characters of the book. These reactions helped me to understand what I was going through, and why. I went through three long periods of depressive-like symptoms in my life, and these books helped me to understand the source of the problems. I can see myself by my reactions to what I read. Sometimes the book acts like a bathroom mirror (good likeness), and sometimes it acts like a carnival mirror (crazy distortions for comedic effect). Figure out which book is acting like which mirror type is difficult; you'll have to read a lot of books to help you understand.

My point exactly.... Books often do act as mirrors, mirrors question us, like in The Guy in the Glass Poem (Man in the Mirror). According to me, when a person looks into the mirror, into the reflection of his own eyes, and is able to answer the questions that it asks him then he is the bravest and happiest man. In a way, books also do that. They question your conscience. And people who are unable to answer it either closes the book forever or will build the ability to come back and answer it; and in it lies the biggest achievement of self.

Thank you so much for your response. All the best :)

[krishna_lit]

It's big and heavy enough to both make a good weapon and to stop a blade or a bullet.

That part is so true about the BIG books... something which the electronic books will never be able to do! :D

Thanks for the response!

[luhsun]

Ah..krishna... there are quite a number of instances where smart phones had stopped low calibre bullets.. htc android, for instance

[Mohammad Ahmad]

In this post I request you all to share the information of those books that, after facing a failure, helped you to again become what you truly are at the roots of your heart. Please do share the experiences of what the situation was that made you feel low in life and what books you read in those times that made you bounce back to live the life again than just merely survive it!...( quoted).
--------------------------------------------------


Really, it is the Quran, The Book of Lord! No doubt, it contains the guidance to everything of life; no doubt, it contains the judgments and the straight judicial procedures to each lifestyle whenever the time is and wherever the place is.
Understanding Hadith books also are useful for Muslims to be more acquainted with the opaque and difficult words of Quran.
Any book in Geography will guide you to learn your surrounding environment.
Reading literature books will enhance your soul and give you a good lesson in morality.
Reading books dealt with general culture of the world will support you in how to understand precisely the literature of others especially into the translated literary works.
Reading books of zoology may guide you to understand the nature.
Lastly, no book is away from advantages and there is an Arabic maxim said:
The best associated friend forever is the book.
But why are you going to read books that make you feel low in life?
I am not favorable to read like those books but just to get information.

[mal4mac]

What is with this focus on the "self help" quality of literature. This third-age philosophizing of literature is detrimental. Since when was literature supposed to be concerned with real life situations? In my mind literature does not make you feel good, rather it lets you know that others feel bad too, and therefore gives you a sense of echo to your own sentiments...

... which makes you feel good. I agree with Bloom that literatures provides aesthetic pleasure, i.e. makes you feel good, even if that pleasures is often not simple.

But I'm not sure that taking a "self help" approach is all that useful. Do you read your favourite author, even if she doesn't deal with directly with the problem, to forget your problem, and for pure "pleasure of the text"? Or do you read an author you don't like so much who brings up your problem in a novel? You could say both, and why not. But I tend to have more fun reading for "pleasure of the text". At the "roots of my heart" I'm a reader of great literature, and whenever I encounter great authors I "bounce back" and "live again", where "living again" is reading again..



If you are so depressed, you should read less and go outside more. Reading is a depressing act, in that it does not transcend the page. Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy may get married at the end, but when the last page closes, so too does their story. The limitations of vicarious living can only take one so far through literature, where the real experience is far harder to grasp. Every poem must necessarily die with every reading, and cannot become tangible.

You're sounding somewhat like Harold Bloom's wife. He tends to do nothing but read, and needs to be chased out to go for a walk. But I guess she wouldn't dare say "reading is a depressing act" :) In my experience, it's far from depressing, and if you read Csikszentmihalyi on Flow you will find that science is also against you. The experience most commonly found to induce Flow, that great bulwark against depression, is reading literature.

I also think you are wrong about literature not transcending the page, and in your example you show yourself to be wrong! In remembering Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy you have given them life beyond the closing of the story, and it's a common experience to remember characters with joy, or as good examples, or as "ways not to be".

Bloom, and others, also argue that in reading we become more interesting to ourselves, as (when there is no book to hand) we can think about the ideas, characters, and experiences we have encountered in books.

[krishna_lit]

Really, it is the Quran, The Book of Lord! No doubt, it contains the guidance to everything of life; no doubt, it contains the judgments and the straight judicial procedures to each lifestyle whenever the time is and wherever the place is.
Understanding Hadith books also are useful for Muslims to be more acquainted with the opaque and difficult words of Quran.

Yes.. I've best friends who are Muslims and their lifestyle, mainly the way they celebrate Ramzan by contributing something to the needy made me feel very good about it.. Quran, since then, is on my list of the precious spiritual epics! I'm just yet to decide if I want to read it in my mother tongue (which is Telugu) or in English.


there is an Arabic maxim said:
The best associated friend forever is the book.

I totally agree on this. I actually experience this!


But why are you going to read books that make you feel low in life?
I didn't mean that at all.. what made you feel that I did?? I was actually asking for the exact opposite, asked for those books that brighten your mood when you're low; not the other way around!

Thank you very much for your response and also mentioning about the Quran. :)

[krishna_lit]

Csikszentmihalyi
How does one actually pronounce it??


In remembering Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy you have given them life beyond the closing of the story.
Nailed it!


Bloom, and others, also argue that in reading we become more interesting to ourselves, as (when there is no book to hand) we can think about the ideas, characters, and experiences we have encountered in books.

I do agree.. Even when away from books the ideas stick within our minds and that makes all the differences in our lives.. I would like to quote Oscar Wilde here, which kind of suffices the above sentence of yours, "It is what books you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it."

Thank you so very much for the response...:)

[ennison]

Oh really! Books are not crutches.

[mal4mac]

[Csikszentmihalyi] How does one actually pronounce it??

Something like "chick sent me high".

[hannah_arendt]

I love "Room with a view" by Forster and "Wuthering Heights" for having helped me to understand two or three difficult situations in my life.

[PeterL]

The Anarchist Cookbook

[Vota]

The books that probably helped me out the most were all the martial arts and Ninjutsu books I studied from about age 10 and up. It made me think about stealth, mental manipulation, and surprisingly, avoiding conflicts and fights in the first place. I also remember they made me think about how easily I could hurt someone if I wanted to, a simple pencil, a ruler, a book even. I was a pretty rowdy kid and these books actually helped me control my temper rather than increase it.

[tonywalt]

Catcher in the Rye - Holden Caulfield is the man!(boy!)

[kev67]

I love "Room with a view" by Forster and "Wuthering Heights" for having helped me to understand two or three difficult situations in my life.

How could Wuthering Heights have helped anyone understand a difficult personal situation?

[hadeelkouta]

Paulo Coelho's whole collection! Mostly, The Alchemist and Brida.

Niccolo Machiavellli's The Prince.

[osho]

Reading books in fact help people overcome certain problems in life and of course there are so many self-help type books that can give lots of counseling and they often give the diagnosis of the problem and hit at the very root of it and such books can rescue some people who are lost and looking for a path.

What is more books of literature give some meaning in life and books and stories and essays of Tolstoy often give me food thought and a direction when i find myself in a labyrinth.

Reading some books are indeed depressing and when i read Joyce or Wolf I feel exhausted and such books demand a lot of reflections and there necessitate exercising our brains.

Today we are so much with books and books have been integral to our lives and without books We can not think about life and if there are no books in my life I feel life is reduced to littleness

[chrisvia]

I saw this Brain Picking come through today and thought of this thread.

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2014/01/08/alain-de-botton-art-as-therapy-talk

Alain De Botton argues for a reimagining of the purpose of art, as particularly a shift from "sterile, empty, elitist fodder" (loose paraphrase) to a place where we can bring our anxieties and pains for healing.

His key tenets are recorded in an art/philosopher book released last year by Phaidon:

http://www.amazon.com/Art-as-Therapy-Alain-Botton/dp/0714865915/

[MANICHAEAN]

"Catch 22" by Joseph Heller has kept me in the world of reality.

[hypatia_]

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand has influenced me the most. It taught me that you have to pursue what you want in life and not listen to what others say when it comes to what you can achieve. We live in a world where every day people tell you what you can and cannot do, and you have to learn to tune it out and focus on your own interests.

[Ser Nevarc]

If you are so depressed, you should read less and go outside more. Reading is a depressing act, in that it does not transcend the page . . . Every poem must necessarily die with every reading, and cannot become tangible.

:leaving:

poor guy

[hypatia_]

If you are so depressed, you should read less and go outside more. Reading is a depressing act, in that it does not transcend the page . . . Every poem must necessarily die with every reading, and cannot become tangible.


While I do agree that it's important to go outside, valuable insight can be gained from reading as well. It doesn't have to lead to depression!

[HSPS]

What is with this focus on the "self help" quality of literature. This third-age philosophizing of literature is detrimental. Since when was literature supposed to be concerned with real life situations? In my mind literature does not make you feel good, rather it lets you know that others feel bad too, and therefore gives you a sense of echo to your own sentiments.

People shouldn't look to literature for solutions to their problems, but if you're attacking the act of reading to make oneself feel better, then I strongly disagree. We shouldn't read for solutions to our problems, but there's nothing wrong with reading for comfort, and attacking that idea is attacking what seems to me to be one of the major purposes of art throughout history. I wouldn't call it "self-help," though, as that term brings to mind half-baked ideas about how one should live one's life and pseudo-intellectual "gurus."

I read poetry because I relate to the poet or the voice he has created, and it is therefore comforting when I'm unhappy, and it enhances my experience when I'm happy. I read novels and form connections to the characters for the same reasons. I can't think of many other reasons to read. The wisdom of the writers and improving our understanding of the world are other good reasons, but they aren't as sustainable as reading for joy. (I suppose I could include reading just so we can brag about what we're reading or what we've read.)


If you are so depressed, you should read less and go outside more. Reading is a depressing act, in that it does not transcend the page. Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy may get married at the end, but when the last page closes, so too does their story. The limitations of vicarious living can only take one so far through literature, where the real experience is far harder to grasp. Every poem must necessarily die with every reading, and cannot become tangible.

Why can't reading be one of the components of a full life? By all means go outside, make friends, and see nature, but also read for the sheer beauty of the literature, for the same reason we would look at a mountain range or go star-gazing. The stories/poems don't die once they end, because they have lasting impacts on us. For one reason or another, they stay with us, and our memories and understanding of them, and the fact that we can go back to them whenever we want, enrich our lives.

All of that being said, I would appreciate it if you would clarify what you mean, because I feel like I may be replying to a straw man.

[sandracollin]

Bible would be the no. 1 book on my list because it really teaches you to become a better person with fruitful mind. I love it not only because bible is where you can find so many teaching of our God above, but because it shows the real situations in this world. Bible can be your compass whether you like it or not, by applying those learning you learned from it your life will absolutely transform to something better you can never imagine.

[tonywalt]

Bible would be the no. 1 book on my list because it really teaches you to become a better person with fruitful mind. I love it not only because bible is where you can find so many teaching of our God above, but because it shows the real situations in this world. Bible can be your compass whether you like it or not, by applying those learning you learned from it your life will absolutely transform to something better you can never imagine.

I never read it as my family is Baha'i- looks good. Who authored the various books? (It's a genuine question as I am unfamiliar with the faith)

[hazelk]

I have started on "Levels Of Life" by Julian Barnes, I am hoping that this little novel will help me adjust to the loss of my beloved husband.

[Darcy88]

Henry Miller definitely helped me through tough times when as a man and a writer I doubted myself acutely, deeply, terribly. I still have that sharp sense of self-doubt as a man but as a writer I have accepted that I am good, though it is tough to admit it, even when people go bananas over some of my prose, saying it is actually great or even sometimes genius. The other one I suppose is Dostoevsky, whose characters have often been somewhat similar to me in terms of spirituality and circumstance. Analyzing some of them was almost akin to a process of self-analysis back when I was devouring his novels as a teenager. Herman Hesse might be number one, for the same reasons as I stated for Dostoevsky, though even more so, particularly with Peter Camenzind, Magister Ludi, Demian and of course Siddhartha. I have not read much Dickens, but Great Expectations had a massive impact on me, one which remains boldly in my mind and life today.

So Miller, Dostoevsky, Hesse and Dickens. The Brontes have male characters that I really identify with, especially Mr Rochester from Jane Eyre, even though I am still a young man of only 25 years and I am living in poverty. If I began listing the poets and essayists and philosophers whose works have helped shape me and guide me this post would require another hour to write. So I'll leave it there.

Darcy 88.

[Calidore]

I never read it as my family is Baha'i-

What's the basis for the Baha'i faith? We have the only Baha'i temple in the U.S. here, in one of Chicago's near-northern suburbs, which my family visited a few times when I was a kid, but I don't really know anything about the religion. The temple and grounds are staggeringly beautiful, though, and it's the kind of place that just exudes peace.

The Tribune recently did a historical photo gallery on the temple, which you might find interesting. I love the description of the dome in the 8/1/71 picture.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/suburbs/wilmette_kenilworth/chi-classic-photos-wilmettes-bahai-house-of-worship-20131108,0,832640.photogallery

And here's some color pictures courtesy of Google, though even these can't compare to seeing it in person.

https://www.google.com/search?q=wilmette+baha%27i+temple&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=S9fXUuqzLeKosATenYGgBg&ved=0CE0QsAQ&biw=1680&bih=903

[mal4mac]

I have started on "Levels Of Life" by Julian Barnes, I am hoping that this little novel will help me adjust to the loss of my beloved husband.

I hope this helps you. One of the most touching novels I've read, on this theme of loss, is David Copperfield.