The Hearing

[AntonyM]

Hi,

I am new to this group, so I hope this is appropriate.

This is a piece of writing which I did several years ago, based on a true event, but which I have given a slight twist to.
There are a few places where I would make changes if I was writing it today, but I wanted to post it exactly as I originally wrote it for now.

It didn't originally have a title. But today, for want of a better title, I have called it "The Hearing".

Thanks for giving me a place to post it.

Antony

[AntonyM]

“You are guilty of crimes. Most heinous crimes. Against humanity and your fellow workers.”
“What crimes?” I asked.
“Your ignorance is the greatest crime of them all. You are obviously not attuned to us and what we are saying.”
“And what are you saying?”
“Change. You must change. It is only through change, and remorse, great remorse, that you can be allowed to stay. Otherwise, you have a few days to make your arrangements and then you must be off. They will do what they wish with you when you arrive.” A pause. “What is your choice then? To change? To show the respect so richly deserved by your fellows and to re-dedicate your life to the Tasks? Or… the alternative?”
“I am dedicated to the Tasks; I will always continue to be dedicated to the Tasks. They all know that.”
“They tell us that there can be improvement – that you are expendable.”
“Who says this? Who could say that I do not perform to my utmost?”
“We hear that you are damaging the company’s transport. You are using it recklessly.”
“No. I use my own transport. I have my own.”
“Then before. Before you had your own.”

That long ago? Were they really delving that deeply into the past? My past. And what other facts had they unearthed? This was definitely a concerted effort on someone’s behalf. But who was behind it; and why?
The “why” was easy to answer. Contracts had been made and then broken, people were being persecuted, and some of us had spoken out. This was not the way. Not their way. But subtlety had been tried, and it had failed – it was not recognised. But the blunt sword of truth is, indeed, a two-bladed weapon. And the second side cuts deep.

“There was a violent attack three days ago. Your colleagues and you were there. We have just received the report – your colleagues were responsible for much damage.”
“No. That’s not what happened at all. They were there, yes, but that is all. I have to speak in their defence and state that they caused no damage at all.”
“Forget your colleagues. Think of yourself now. You have enough problems of your own.” A small chuckle to himself as he said this. The words of Pastor Niemoller ran through my mind “…and there was nobody left to defend me.” This is their favourite trick: divide and then conquer.

No sooner do I start to make headway defending myself against one accusation, then they change the attack to a new charge. But how do you fight lies? What is the weapon to be used against them? The invisible enemy, indeed.

“We have reports that you are reckless and dangerous.”
“That is not true.”
“Forget the facts. They are not to be your defence. It is only the impressions and perceptions which matter. Truth is a crutch for the weak. We are strong. You will see just how strong we are.”

They were right. Their power was well known. Not least their power of propaganda – the power to twist the truth into any form they required it to take. If they wished it then one equalled two.

But they must surely have an Achilles’ Heel. A weak point through which they could be exposed for what they are. But what chance do I have now? Soon to be transported back to an unknown future in a hostile land, unless… unless I agree to their terms. Oh God, would you really have me sell my soul to Satan? This is not right. Not as it should be. There must be some other way. Think, damn it, think.

“You are not shaven.”
“You mention this alongside murder and treason?”
“Is there a difference? Do you feel any the less guilty for your appearance?”
“My appearance is not a crime.”
“You are not right. You should not be here. I think we should send you back right away.”

So why do they wait? Why have they not sent me back already? What is it that they are after? A signed confession? I doubt that they would need that. Then what is it? Do these two not have the power to make this decision on their own? Do they need higher authorisation? Or is it just a game of cat-and-mouse? I, the mouse, blindly running where they wish me to run?

The Outsider. To be perpetually out on the edge. The edge of society and the edge of sanity. Truly a bittersweet experience. The dream of many, and the downfall of even more. This is what they are pushing me towards. But this is the role of both hero and villain, Christ and anti-Christ – which am I to portray? Pushed to a precipice of desperation, what can I do but leap? And who is to say where I am to land – somewhere in the murky depths of despair down below me.