Biggus
12-11-2013, 08:33 AM
WHEN SANTA ISN’T WORKING # 2
When Santa isn’t working
With a happy ho ho ho
He likes to ballroom dance
Going quick quick slow
Then he dances backwards
And he goes oh oh oh
WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 4
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Well contrary to the fable
It was to avoid ending up
On the Christmas table
DO NOT EAT CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS
Do not eat Christmas decorations
They are not nutritious in the slightest
And apart from that very simple fact
You will end up with bad tinsilitis
I ALWAYS COME OUT IN A RASH
I always come out in a rash
It happens every Xmas
I’ve been to see a doctor
And he thinks its Eczemas
I LOVE THE SMELLS OF CHRISTMAS
I love the smells of Christmas
Like Cinnamon and Ginger
Roasted chestnuts piping hot
Gluhwein and Pine needles
So I feel sorry for the snowmen
As they can only smell carrot
A DOG ISN’T JUST FOR CHRISTMAS
A dog isn’t just for Christmas
That’s what they say
And they are correct
Its also nice cold on Boxing Day
TRANSVESTITE CHRISTMAS
Do you think that cross dressers
Find Christmas is merry?
I bet you think they are sad
Well on the contrary
I really love Christmas
As I can eat, drink and be Mary
MY GOOSE WAS COOKED
On Christmas morning
Into the kitchen I snook
And as my wife cooked the Goose
I goosed the cook
RED CHEEKS
Cheeks wear a rosy glow
As they play out in the snow
Making the snowman grow
Until the wind begins to blow
And they look at me and know
It’s time for a mug of cocoa
MERRY, MERRY
The doctor scratches his head
And is almost struck dumb
Why did Santa Claus have
A mince pie stuck up his bum
The only answer was
On a pie he must have sat
So the doctor said
“I’ll give you some cream to put on that”
When Santa isn’t working
With a happy ho ho ho
He likes to ballroom dance
Going quick quick slow
Then he dances backwards
And he goes oh oh oh
WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 4
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Well contrary to the fable
It was to avoid ending up
On the Christmas table
DO NOT EAT CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS
Do not eat Christmas decorations
They are not nutritious in the slightest
And apart from that very simple fact
You will end up with bad tinsilitis
I ALWAYS COME OUT IN A RASH
I always come out in a rash
It happens every Xmas
I’ve been to see a doctor
And he thinks its Eczemas
I LOVE THE SMELLS OF CHRISTMAS
I love the smells of Christmas
Like Cinnamon and Ginger
Roasted chestnuts piping hot
Gluhwein and Pine needles
So I feel sorry for the snowmen
As they can only smell carrot
A DOG ISN’T JUST FOR CHRISTMAS
A dog isn’t just for Christmas
That’s what they say
And they are correct
Its also nice cold on Boxing Day
TRANSVESTITE CHRISTMAS
Do you think that cross dressers
Find Christmas is merry?
I bet you think they are sad
Well on the contrary
I really love Christmas
As I can eat, drink and be Mary
MY GOOSE WAS COOKED
On Christmas morning
Into the kitchen I snook
And as my wife cooked the Goose
I goosed the cook
RED CHEEKS
Cheeks wear a rosy glow
As they play out in the snow
Making the snowman grow
Until the wind begins to blow
And they look at me and know
It’s time for a mug of cocoa
MERRY, MERRY
The doctor scratches his head
And is almost struck dumb
Why did Santa Claus have
A mince pie stuck up his bum
The only answer was
On a pie he must have sat
So the doctor said
“I’ll give you some cream to put on that”