Soul Food

[dara.cv]

This one was fun, I have to admit. Not sure if the title is befitting, but i have to go to bed for work.



Was that the remorsefully bitter sharpness of rue
or the numbing sweetness of clove?
Her words were a medley
seasoned with mixed messages.
Her possible intentions
stewed my imagination
into a viscous sauciness.
Her scent wafted filling the room
with aromatics of spicy thyme, calming chamomile, spirited sage,
and could it be?
Firey curry!
With no beginning nor end to the savory
she steamed the space of my being
and stirred my fantasies with her movements.
Back and forth in cyclical traces
from the pantry to the cutting board, to stove, to conversation,
and finally to the resolve
of my endlessly infinite devotion.
Boiling, my blood teemed in overflow
from the cup of my heart
into the bottomless cellar of my soul.
She combined and bonded
the mixings of infinite flavors
into that perfect blend called love.

[chirpy]

Fun to write? Fun to read! Cutting board I've heard, but cutting counter? How do you wash it?
My crit: I think it could do without the first and last line.

[Jerrybaldy]

Once the metaphor was set it followed the recipe. I often feel this when writing, you set off free as a bird and you rapidly become restrained by your first few lines. This happened here.

[AuntShecky]

but i have to go to bed for work.




which opens a universe full of speculation over what line of employment that may be.
Perhaps, this (http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?38453-Original-Light-and-humorous-verses&p=747293&viewfull=1#post747293)?

[dara.cv]

I readily agree with all of your critique chirpy! Thank you for the helpful corrections. The cutting counter has effectively been "cut" ;)

Hi Jerry, I can understand that point of view, especially, coming from a writer. For this poem it was intentional. I wanted to use every possible word that related to cooking that i could think of. Maybe it was much, but this was just a lightly fun writing for me, the whole " you capture a man's heart through his stomach" humor. Did you ever get a chance to review my edit of "conversion"? I liked the second one much better, courtesy of your comments.

AuntShecky I have to say you have a wild imagination, Mort the Mattress Tester had me cracking up! I feel guilty reflecting all those times I have exclaimed "I wish I got paid to sleep". Never again, now I know it is not truly a "dream" job! By the way i saw that PrinceMyskin commented on it, I have to admit when I caem back on here I was sadly disappointed he hasn't posted anything for months. I was looking forward to his writings and companionship. If you know could you tell me if he is coming back?

[Delta40]

This was a great read. I could hear the pot reach boiling point as I read through it!

[WritersPlatform]

Good one Dara
Angella
Writers Platform