Carol58175817
11-29-2013, 10:35 PM
Ferdinand had a love for arcade games - he played them whenever he was allowed. He played literally every game in the Brenton's World, apart from Isode's Lava Land - the most dangerous game in the world. Anyone daring enough to play it never made it back home alive, for reasons that no one knew. It was quite mysterious, everyone took it as either a myth or a joke, and whenever someone disappeared after playing the game, people thought of it as a complete coincidence. The funny thing was no one had ever proved the myth wrong, for no one had ever come home after playing Isode's Lava Land. People tried watching another person playing it, but the people watching had always been distracted one way or another, and the players vanished the second the supervisors turns around. You might think people should have removed the game from the arcade to make it safe, but having that game removed was thought to be more dangerous than playing the game, for no one knew how it got there in the first place. Ferdinand has lost count of times that he's been told this, and he has never dared to go to the dark corner of the room, where the game was - until one day......
He had a serious fight with his parents, about not finishing homework, going to Brenton's World, and the fact that he is going to be banned from arcades for a month. He does not usually do such things, it's just the fact that a new game came up and he got just a little too tempted by it. He knew his parents cared about him, and he didn't really believe in the myth anyway, so he ran out the door shouting "I'm going to go play Isode's Lava Land, come apologize to me if you want me back alive!" However, his parents did not chase him out the door; instead, they stayed in the house finishing their coffee, for they came to the realization that they did not believe in the myth themselves. Hot tears were still streaming down his cheeks when he got to Mr Xochipilli, the owner of the arcade, but he just ignored them, took $5 out of his pocket and asked for a ticket to Isode's Lava Land.
"Are you okay Ferdinand? What game did you want again? Sorry, I thought I heard you say Isode's Lava Land, silly me!" said Mr Xochipilli.
"Yes, I'm fine, thank you. No, you did not hear me wrong Mr X, I did ask for a ticket to Isode's Lava Land. Please do not worry about my safety - I have it under control." Ferdinand said firmly.
Not looking so sure, Mr Xochipilli gave him a ticket to Isode's Lava Land and watched as Ferdinand walked over to the dark corner, the place he had never dared to go. Unlike the rest of the arcade, which were bright, playful and children-friendly; this corner was rather dark, mysterious and haunting. It sent shivers down Ferdinand's spine but he was determined to try it out. "It is now or never," he thought.
He inserted the ticket into the ticket slot, turned the handle and started playing. The myth was a lie after all, he thought. It was quite a fun game, where you have to go through an obstacle course above the lava.
A crowd of people flooded in straight after and got themselves a bundle of tickets from Mr Xochipilli for a big party, which took them quite a while, and when he looked over at Isode’s Lava Land, Ferdinand had vanished! He kicked himself – hard. He has been telling himself to pay attention to the next customer who played Isode’s Lava Land to solve the mystery, but has never succeeded in concentrating. He knew that whenever Ferdinand came to the arcade, he never left until his watch starts to beep, and the beep was loud and ear-piercing. In addition, Ferdinand never left the arcade without saying goodbye to Mr Xochipilli, therefore, there must have been something mysterious going on. "Looks like I’ll have to go to his house and see if he’s home when I close the arcade down," he thought, frustrated.
Ferdinand looked up and saw the black clouds that adorned the sky; looked down and found himself standing on a large piece of reddish-brown rock that floated on the lava; then he looked at himself – he was no longer wearing his dark green slippers and the brown checked shirt with the brown cargo shorts, but was wearing a red, cotton shirt, a black jacket, black sport shorts and black boots, just like Isode in the game. Now that he had realized, everything was just like the game, except for the fact that he was Isode himself. He shivered at the thought. Before he could think of what he could do next, the rock underneath him turned to dust, forcing him to jump onto the next one, though the next rock didn’t stay half as long as the last one. So he jumped here and there until his legs were aching, and sat down to rest on a rock. At least this rock is not going to vanish too soon, he thought, relieved. He had not realized the rock moving further and further away from the other rocks, until that rock started to crack……
He fell down at top speed, but he had just enough time to grab a rope-like thing that was hanging. Heart pounding, he climbed the rope. "No matter what this is, where this will take me, it will be better than dying in the lava," he thought. However, the "rope" did not take him anywhere more pleasant than the lava - it was the tongue of a giant, purple-faced creature! No wonder he had smelt dead, rotten people! He started to climb down the tongue in fear and terror finally realizing why no one came home after playing Isode's Lava Land. However, luck did take pity on him – he found a ladder, made out of real rope to climb on. Therefore, he crossed his fingers and swung on the tongue until he managed to grab the ladder and climbed onto an actual road.
Oh, how relieved was he! The road made of concrete was nice and stable, and if he was lucky, it would not crack until he got his energy back. Well, the concrete was not damaged in any way, but an armored woman was chasing him with a knife! Therefore, he had to choice but to sprint, no matter how tired his legs were. When he got to the end of the concrete, he almost ran straight into the lava, luckily he got hold of a rope just in time, before the knife-blade reached his head. He slid down the rope until he reached another concrete road, and ran from there. He climbed many ladders, walked tightropes, climbed on chains, slipped down ropes and ran on roads, until he saw that the armored lady was no longer there and sat down to rest, but he fell through a hole that felt like clouds, with the familiar “Country Death Song” ringing in his ears……
Sweating, Ferdinand forced himself to sit up on his bed and shut the alarm. That takes away my dream of playing Isode’s Lava Land when I grow up – perhaps mum and dad were right about banning me from MA games, he thought.
Maybe the myth was true…
I am aware that this is nowhere near my best writing, and I don't see this as anywhere near publishable. I was just wondering if there was any hope in improving the story maybe just a little bit. If you could help, that would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
He had a serious fight with his parents, about not finishing homework, going to Brenton's World, and the fact that he is going to be banned from arcades for a month. He does not usually do such things, it's just the fact that a new game came up and he got just a little too tempted by it. He knew his parents cared about him, and he didn't really believe in the myth anyway, so he ran out the door shouting "I'm going to go play Isode's Lava Land, come apologize to me if you want me back alive!" However, his parents did not chase him out the door; instead, they stayed in the house finishing their coffee, for they came to the realization that they did not believe in the myth themselves. Hot tears were still streaming down his cheeks when he got to Mr Xochipilli, the owner of the arcade, but he just ignored them, took $5 out of his pocket and asked for a ticket to Isode's Lava Land.
"Are you okay Ferdinand? What game did you want again? Sorry, I thought I heard you say Isode's Lava Land, silly me!" said Mr Xochipilli.
"Yes, I'm fine, thank you. No, you did not hear me wrong Mr X, I did ask for a ticket to Isode's Lava Land. Please do not worry about my safety - I have it under control." Ferdinand said firmly.
Not looking so sure, Mr Xochipilli gave him a ticket to Isode's Lava Land and watched as Ferdinand walked over to the dark corner, the place he had never dared to go. Unlike the rest of the arcade, which were bright, playful and children-friendly; this corner was rather dark, mysterious and haunting. It sent shivers down Ferdinand's spine but he was determined to try it out. "It is now or never," he thought.
He inserted the ticket into the ticket slot, turned the handle and started playing. The myth was a lie after all, he thought. It was quite a fun game, where you have to go through an obstacle course above the lava.
A crowd of people flooded in straight after and got themselves a bundle of tickets from Mr Xochipilli for a big party, which took them quite a while, and when he looked over at Isode’s Lava Land, Ferdinand had vanished! He kicked himself – hard. He has been telling himself to pay attention to the next customer who played Isode’s Lava Land to solve the mystery, but has never succeeded in concentrating. He knew that whenever Ferdinand came to the arcade, he never left until his watch starts to beep, and the beep was loud and ear-piercing. In addition, Ferdinand never left the arcade without saying goodbye to Mr Xochipilli, therefore, there must have been something mysterious going on. "Looks like I’ll have to go to his house and see if he’s home when I close the arcade down," he thought, frustrated.
Ferdinand looked up and saw the black clouds that adorned the sky; looked down and found himself standing on a large piece of reddish-brown rock that floated on the lava; then he looked at himself – he was no longer wearing his dark green slippers and the brown checked shirt with the brown cargo shorts, but was wearing a red, cotton shirt, a black jacket, black sport shorts and black boots, just like Isode in the game. Now that he had realized, everything was just like the game, except for the fact that he was Isode himself. He shivered at the thought. Before he could think of what he could do next, the rock underneath him turned to dust, forcing him to jump onto the next one, though the next rock didn’t stay half as long as the last one. So he jumped here and there until his legs were aching, and sat down to rest on a rock. At least this rock is not going to vanish too soon, he thought, relieved. He had not realized the rock moving further and further away from the other rocks, until that rock started to crack……
He fell down at top speed, but he had just enough time to grab a rope-like thing that was hanging. Heart pounding, he climbed the rope. "No matter what this is, where this will take me, it will be better than dying in the lava," he thought. However, the "rope" did not take him anywhere more pleasant than the lava - it was the tongue of a giant, purple-faced creature! No wonder he had smelt dead, rotten people! He started to climb down the tongue in fear and terror finally realizing why no one came home after playing Isode's Lava Land. However, luck did take pity on him – he found a ladder, made out of real rope to climb on. Therefore, he crossed his fingers and swung on the tongue until he managed to grab the ladder and climbed onto an actual road.
Oh, how relieved was he! The road made of concrete was nice and stable, and if he was lucky, it would not crack until he got his energy back. Well, the concrete was not damaged in any way, but an armored woman was chasing him with a knife! Therefore, he had to choice but to sprint, no matter how tired his legs were. When he got to the end of the concrete, he almost ran straight into the lava, luckily he got hold of a rope just in time, before the knife-blade reached his head. He slid down the rope until he reached another concrete road, and ran from there. He climbed many ladders, walked tightropes, climbed on chains, slipped down ropes and ran on roads, until he saw that the armored lady was no longer there and sat down to rest, but he fell through a hole that felt like clouds, with the familiar “Country Death Song” ringing in his ears……
Sweating, Ferdinand forced himself to sit up on his bed and shut the alarm. That takes away my dream of playing Isode’s Lava Land when I grow up – perhaps mum and dad were right about banning me from MA games, he thought.
Maybe the myth was true…
I am aware that this is nowhere near my best writing, and I don't see this as anywhere near publishable. I was just wondering if there was any hope in improving the story maybe just a little bit. If you could help, that would be greatly appreciated, thank you.