Conversion

[dara.cv]

These walls are a vise.
Compressing my angst
into a coal of fiercely potential
combustible rage.
In you I find self-restraint
preventing self-ignition.
"Only you can prevent wildfires."
Your sole presence suctions the air
and deflates my soul.
Creating a vacuum void
of my ego, imploded.
Where once hopes, dreams, universal dimensions
of lifetime's worth of explosions...
all is left,
reduced to this empty. hollow. space.

[Jerrybaldy]

This sounds a bit self obsessed and full of blame. As somebody once told me , bitterness makes you ugly. Take responsibility for your life. Just my thoughts.

[dara.cv]

It was a moment of rage completely suppressed during the confrontation with the person.

In this particular personal experience it was because the other person was a friend and I loss all will to fight, and so just felt empty after. Usually, i can direct my anger towards injustice or wrongdoing in a productive way to initiate dialogue or change, but this person sucked my will to fight, because they were a friend and i had trusted them. I am very responsible with my feelings and life, so the change i decided to make was to leave this particular relationship/situation all together and find better opportunities for myself.

Maybe I will editthis poem, i was trying to recreate the feeling of being so explosively mad and then utterly defeated, but i guess it didnt come out right. I dont think the universe/star explosions analogy fits. Maybe it needs some tweaks. But i think its worth editing, im certain others have felt this way and i want a poem that recalls that emotion to the reader. Thanks for the feedback, gave me a project :)

[dara.cv]

So happy you prompted me to modify. I'd really like your input Jerry, how is this one?

Layered years
of high pressure
are buried.
Compressing my angst,
into a metamorphic coal
of fiercely potential
combustible rage.
Intensified, heat seethes
to temperish cheeks.
The embers to act, burn.

Confronted,
your presence,
suffocates the air.
Stifles the feverish flame.
Suppresses,
beyond the compacted years,
the urging fire.
Where once a lifetime's worth of explosions,
all is left,
Are embers smoldered to ash
blown in a changing wind.

[qimissung]

I think I like the second one better. I didn't really see bitterness in the first one, though I couldn't tell if what was happening was good or not. You know, there are people who are good at diffusing our more volatile emotions.

[Carol58175817]

The second one sounds better, but it is nonetheless more confusing. I understood the meaning mainly by reading your first version. Please do not take me wrong, you are a great writer with strong opinions - I loved the message which lain within your poem. Keep in mind all my words are opinions, not facts. I shall be looking forward to your next poem!