Biggus
10-27-2013, 05:36 AM
TRAFFIC COP – CONDITIONAL
Sometimes you can talk
Your way out of a ticket
A little bit of charm
Is probably the safest bet
Humour can work as well
But just don’t overdo it
By asking “I thought cops
Had to be reasonably fit”
AS YOU ARE THE VICAR
As you are the Vicar
You marry people every day
But it was me who married you
On our wedding day
And your greatest pleasure
Is when I lift up your cassock
And take you from behind
As you kneel on a hassock
FORGIVENESS IS THE FORMULA
Forgiveness is the formula
For a marriage happy and long
So my wife always forgives me
Especially when she's wrong
IN ORDER TO DO GREAT THINGS
In order to do great things
A woman must inspire him
While simultaneously
Preventing his achieving them
THE GREATEST QUESTION
The greatest question
Has no answer
It is neither yes or no
The great question is
"What does a woman want?"
And I just don’t know
ARE YOU WEARING CONTACT LENSES?
Are you wearing contact lenses?
In your “mince pies”
Because they shine
At night like cats eyes
SHORT SHIPMENT
I told my boss at work today
That we had a short shipment
And he went absolutely mad
He got straight on the phone
And showed his discontent
We had a shipment of shorts
Is what I actually meant
I AM FROM THE CARIBBEAN
I am from the Caribbean
And I find cooking very hard
But I do one thing very well
RhuBarbados and custard
Sometimes you can talk
Your way out of a ticket
A little bit of charm
Is probably the safest bet
Humour can work as well
But just don’t overdo it
By asking “I thought cops
Had to be reasonably fit”
AS YOU ARE THE VICAR
As you are the Vicar
You marry people every day
But it was me who married you
On our wedding day
And your greatest pleasure
Is when I lift up your cassock
And take you from behind
As you kneel on a hassock
FORGIVENESS IS THE FORMULA
Forgiveness is the formula
For a marriage happy and long
So my wife always forgives me
Especially when she's wrong
IN ORDER TO DO GREAT THINGS
In order to do great things
A woman must inspire him
While simultaneously
Preventing his achieving them
THE GREATEST QUESTION
The greatest question
Has no answer
It is neither yes or no
The great question is
"What does a woman want?"
And I just don’t know
ARE YOU WEARING CONTACT LENSES?
Are you wearing contact lenses?
In your “mince pies”
Because they shine
At night like cats eyes
SHORT SHIPMENT
I told my boss at work today
That we had a short shipment
And he went absolutely mad
He got straight on the phone
And showed his discontent
We had a shipment of shorts
Is what I actually meant
I AM FROM THE CARIBBEAN
I am from the Caribbean
And I find cooking very hard
But I do one thing very well
RhuBarbados and custard