Biggus
10-22-2013, 04:43 AM
TRAFFIC COP – SOMETHING IN COMMON
Sometimes you can talk
Your way out of a ticket
A little bit of charm
Is probably the safest bet
Humour can work as well
But don’t say to the men in blue
“Well in order to catch me
You must have been speeding too”
ARE YOU WEARING VESTMENTS?
Are you wearing vestments?
Oh reverend Katie
You know they should
Be hanging in the vestry
When the service is over
That’s where they should be
But for my birthday treat
You’ve kept it on for me
And now I get to unwrap
The reverend Katie
I’VE GOT AN AD IN THE LONELY HEARTS
I’ve got an ad in the “lonely hearts”
“Wife wanted” is how it starts
I’ve had loads of replies, which is fine
But they all say “You can have mine”
MY BROTHER SAYS HIS WIFE IS AN ANGEL
My brother says his wife is an angel
He is deliriously happy with things
I think he’s lucky as I can’t wait
To have mine fitted for her wings
THE SECRET TO A HAPPY CONTENTED LIFE
The secret to a happy contented life
Should you ever decide, to take a wife
Whenever you are wrong, admit it
Whenever you are right just shut it
REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS CAN BE TRICKY
Remembering birthdays can be tricky
And forgetting can leave the wicket sticky
The best way to remember an important date
Is to forget it - but just the one time mate
TWO SIDES OF THE SAME TUPPENCE
My wife and I are like
Two sides of the same tuppence
We can’t face each other
So I guess we got our comeuppance
ARE YOU WEARING A CROYDON FACELIFT?
Are you wearing a Croydon facelift?
Well it looks like you’ve had a shock
It’s not a good look on you at all
It looks like you overdosed on Botox
Sometimes you can talk
Your way out of a ticket
A little bit of charm
Is probably the safest bet
Humour can work as well
But don’t say to the men in blue
“Well in order to catch me
You must have been speeding too”
ARE YOU WEARING VESTMENTS?
Are you wearing vestments?
Oh reverend Katie
You know they should
Be hanging in the vestry
When the service is over
That’s where they should be
But for my birthday treat
You’ve kept it on for me
And now I get to unwrap
The reverend Katie
I’VE GOT AN AD IN THE LONELY HEARTS
I’ve got an ad in the “lonely hearts”
“Wife wanted” is how it starts
I’ve had loads of replies, which is fine
But they all say “You can have mine”
MY BROTHER SAYS HIS WIFE IS AN ANGEL
My brother says his wife is an angel
He is deliriously happy with things
I think he’s lucky as I can’t wait
To have mine fitted for her wings
THE SECRET TO A HAPPY CONTENTED LIFE
The secret to a happy contented life
Should you ever decide, to take a wife
Whenever you are wrong, admit it
Whenever you are right just shut it
REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS CAN BE TRICKY
Remembering birthdays can be tricky
And forgetting can leave the wicket sticky
The best way to remember an important date
Is to forget it - but just the one time mate
TWO SIDES OF THE SAME TUPPENCE
My wife and I are like
Two sides of the same tuppence
We can’t face each other
So I guess we got our comeuppance
ARE YOU WEARING A CROYDON FACELIFT?
Are you wearing a Croydon facelift?
Well it looks like you’ve had a shock
It’s not a good look on you at all
It looks like you overdosed on Botox