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DieterM
10-20-2013, 06:58 AM
You
leaning against the door frame,
lackadaisical you
with your half-a ss smile,
holding a picture of me
as a boy

Back then I was
blue-eyed and sentimental
with half-long hair,
spectacles, a dreamy stare,
I was the soppy dude
everyone made fun of

You
laughing and tearing apart
the picture of me as a boy,
tiny pieces of my past
floating to your feet

And I bend down,
pick them up,
throw them in the dustbin.
Without looking back
to where you're still lingering,
I whisper, "Thank you."

virtuoso
10-22-2013, 10:55 AM
I like the way you yoke these past and present emotions: nostalgia, indifference, sentimentality, rejection, and acceptance. It is clear that you still see a shy boy who had positive, attractive attributes. The promising early years were disappointing, so you callously watched as your adult girlfriend brushed them away. I like the chronological sequence, which is so aptly paired with conflicting emotions. Glad to see you back posting on the forum!

DieterM
10-22-2013, 11:01 AM
thanks a lot, virtuoso, and I am glad, too. It's awful not to have enought time to read anything, let alone write. And I'm all the more glad that you liked my humble lines.

Haunted
10-23-2013, 05:46 PM
Love how you capture the other person's mannerisms and action, and then your own reaction. Once torn, there's no going back. There's a sense of finality but then again, how many of us really want to be the same awkward pimpled teenage dreamers that we once were? Quite unexpected and unique. Much enjoyed.