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tshering
10-19-2013, 12:13 AM
Reading E.M.Forster’s A passage to India inspired me to write a short paragraph of my own as I passed one of the suburban areas of South India:
I hear the chatter of women sitting outside the porches of their low-roofed huts, edging the dusty narrow alleys, discussing the latest gossip of the neighborhood or the recipe of some new pickle. I see the half-naked kids, with soiled bodies and clothes, cheeks smeared with dried crusts of a previous meal, moving around aimlessly or playing with other kids. I see the paralysis of the afternoon heat and smell the pungent, fiery odors of some strongly spiced food traveling in the air. I walk through those dusty alleys feeling like a species completely apart from these people, not superior not inferior, just apart.
In what way am I different from these people? I think it is that I’m informed of a world bigger than the one I occupy. I know the earth stretches for miles and miles on every side and the universe has no limits. I am aware of the inconsequence of being a single organism in this vast multitude and yet my education also informs me that each life is significant and capable of impacting millions of others. I move in this world with all these and other contradictory and paradoxical views in my head, all of which I carry with perfect balance. I have long given up the desire to understand or interpret the world in strict rigid unopposable ways. Everything at times - views, perceptions, reality, knowledge - seems so very soft and pliable that one fears of drawing any solid conclusions really.

I'm learning how to improve my writing and would greatly appreciate your valuable criticism.

chrissponias
10-19-2013, 03:10 AM
I loved your style!

You should leave a white space after every paragraph, but the content was very good!

tshering
10-19-2013, 10:03 AM
Thanks a lot.... Will definitely remember to do that next time :))

qimissung
10-19-2013, 11:26 AM
It's good! I like your concluding sentence in particular. Really kind of sums up all that you are saying and then adds something more.

tshering
10-19-2013, 12:03 PM
thank you qimissung. I'd heard a thousand mentions about A Passage to India all my adolescent life, most of them here, but had never actually got down to reading it. Last week, the moment I read the first chapter, I was blown away. After years of being unable to add another writer to my favorite's list, this book restored my faith in literature again. :)

Steven Hunley
10-20-2013, 12:56 AM
thank you qimissung. I'd heard a thousand mentions about A Passage to India all my adolescent life, most of them here, but had never actually got down to reading it. Last week, the moment I read the first chapter, I was blown away. After years of being unable to add another writer to my favorite's list, this book restored my faith in literature again. :)

It's a good passage and keep in mind what Dumas once said, " Art begets art."

lovestaxs
11-05-2013, 06:13 PM
Im into it!

genermcmillan
11-07-2013, 06:48 AM
Dear it is really good..i like your way of writing and content , but more care about spacing an paragraph etc.

hannah_arendt
11-07-2013, 08:39 AM
Very good:) Have you read "A room with a view"?

genermcmillan
11-15-2013, 06:36 AM
your content is too good ..But you can add any great message or feel anything at the end of every writing works....

tshering
11-22-2013, 07:51 PM
Thank you everyone. Feel greatly encouraged. :)

tshering
11-22-2013, 07:52 PM
No hannah....I haven't. :p But I've watched the movie with Helena Bonham Carter.

hannah_arendt
12-03-2013, 08:56 AM
No hannah....I haven't. :p But I've watched the movie with Helena Bonham Carter.

I recommend you read more of him :)