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MystyrMystyry
10-16-2013, 06:41 PM
At the stroke of the midnight dour, for long I've dreaded this loomin' hour;
The chime peals twelve, and fades, whence I discern a tiny squeakin';
It comes not from my rockin' chair, but the cellar door beneath the stair!
As I attempt to rise I knock my stick, so tonight it seems there'll be no peakin';

But that squeakin' it becomes a screechin', as though my aid it is beseechin';
Is it snared in some manner? I have no traps set for mice, nor a cat;
But I have presumed a harmless rodent, though it may be of larger portent;
As the plainsong kettle shrills - is it a Hedgehog? Badger? Maniacal Raven? Or a Bat?

At first a scritchin', thence a scratchin', as of something weird ahatchin';
Could this be just my wanderin' imaginin's, so late at night, perhaps...
Not even a rat, a mere insect, though my paralysis prevents me inspect;
Were I able I would find but nothin' (except I may have suffered a lapse)

But then: the noise is reshapin', as the scratchin' becomes a scrapin'!
"The cellar is cursed!" I blurt, "A demonic curse from distant antiquity!"
Intensely I listen to this befoulin' as the screechin' grows into howlin';
The hair on my nape begins to bristle, as if charged by electricity!

"G-et back to Hell!" I am stammerin', as the scrapin' becomes a hammerin'!
And all the while that incessant, most unpleasant, wailin' howlin'!
Can I reach it to make the call, emergency, free from the premises is all?
If, this is, they then may hear me, over what has become an insidious growlin'!

The fiercest growlin', and accentuated, by the frequent gruntin' punctuated;
So next the hammerin' becomes a tearin', wrenchin' at the wooden obstacle;
With claw, with talon, with tooth, with fang, shreddin' with the whole shebang;
My mind flees, wishin' elsewhere, my thoughts completely astronautical;

They need be fast, within a minute, lest I become the monster's dinner;
To stretch and writhe and then wriggle, from its restin' my phone to snatch;
Would they believe me? Would it matter? I must be rid of the devilish chatter;
But alas my nerves it is testin', once my phone at last my nails catch;

Who would believe the bad luck of it all? Who I ask? It's diabolical!
Panic strikes as thoughts are racin': not the battery! No! Completely dead!
To the charger! Upon my knees I crawl over, nudgin' up behind the sofa;
A hidin' spot and hopefully safe - a secret fort to clear my head!

A cover story I need make up, so that from this nightmare I may wake up;
Though my savers might arrive to find, I hope not, and then be angry;
But then the Demon behind the door seeks my blood, and may then want more;
And from the sounds it's makin' it's not givin' up, and it's beyond hungry!

From my vantage point I peep, so as to keep an eye on the Creep
And ensure it doesn't break out, though were it to what should I do?
From the fireplace I grab a poker, and check it's point - damn! Mediocre!
Maybe I can poke its heads, or capsize it off its rails, until arrive the rescue crew;

But then the howlin' growlin' screech brief stops before the door is breached!
What is this flamin' ghastly Fiend, it's hair slicked back like a mortician;
Did it spy me with its blood red eye? I'm guessin' not because it passed me by;
That cold dead eye! And strikin' resemblance to a certain notorious politician!

So I'm thinkin' what the bloomin'! though I suspected the thing less than human;
To appear horrifyin': that's understood. But how low have the demons sunk?
But then again - no, that's unfair - on fiends and monsters everywhere;
Why in my cellar I wonder - perhaps it was aimin' to look like the town drunk!

Last I heard it was seen kissin' babies, probably givin' them a dose of rabies;
Makin' promises it won't keep, except to itself of course, its sneaky pockets line;
But here is where my tale end, safe in my house with a cellar door to mend;
And should you see it, a word of caution: run a mile lest your sanity it undermine!








.

Delta40
10-17-2013, 02:24 AM
Lol better reading than The Raven. Abbott doesn't have much hair though...

AuntShecky
10-17-2013, 04:07 PM
Comes from the comic tradition of "Little Orphant Annie" by James Whitcomb Riley. It's a trifle lengthy, though. There may be some issues with the meter, but as yours fooly has said before, the rules aren't as strict with humorous verse. You've got the wrong "peels" in line 2, unless it's one of those clocks you find in a Dali painting.

MystyrMystyry
10-18-2013, 03:31 AM
Thanks Delta! :)

Uh, who?? Uh, I didn't say anything about, uh, your Prime Minister. Power of suggestion, uh, perhaps? :D

(Actually I'll just change that to "no" in the poem for later non-specific interpretation ;) )



Thanks for dropping by, Matey! :)

Delta40
10-18-2013, 04:15 AM
Yeah. We're now called Abbottoir instead of Australia.... I'm a bit too self conscious right now!

MystyrMystyry
10-18-2013, 05:16 AM
Thanks Aunty! :)

1) Okay here's a confession - the only thing I knew about Annie was the movie (not seen, didn't even know about the plot), and the Tomorrow song (actually only the verse). The comic (never read) featured a bald Daddy Warbucks who had no eyes, and that's about it really. Thanks for the up, and Wikipaedia for filling me in.

Actually for me the comedy of politics begins with Mark Twain - 'Imagine a congress of idiots, but I repeat myself...'


2) Now, lengthy? In a ballad? Surely what you mean is it's too long to sustain the humor - so in effect you're saying the rhymes aren't clever enough and the jokes aren't funny enough, and the story isn't strong enough. Ask yourself - have you ever wasted two whole hours on a Hollywood movie that barks from beginning to end from both ends? I bet you have! I agree it's no Paradise Lost, but - sorry I don't know where I'm going with this... (Mental note, Aunty doesn't like lengthy poems, leave it at that) (Also don't mention it's thirteen stanzas exactly - maths and literature apparently don't mix)

3) Meter shmeter - free verse with rhymes it be, even though three or four are a bit dodgy (Fair enough, four or five). But thankyou for using the word 'humorous', I'll accept that, and agree that yes, it is a little humorous. (Fine, fine, five or six)

4) The 'peels' was spelt wrong (curiously the spellcheck function here is telling me 'spelt' is also spelt wrong, as well as 'thankyou', 'Aunty', 'dodgy', 'Warbucks' 'shmeter' - I'll be sure to heed it in future Auntie (ah!) (How is 'thankyou' wrong??) Peals , peals, peals - got it, damn you!*

*Side note. When embarking on something like this, one has to be prepared to spend their free time - it's going to take a certain amount of hours (commenced on 2/10, abandoned on 2/10, resumed on 5/10, dropped on 6/10, resumed on 7/10, abandoned on 8/10 - mad rush the night before posting) This explains the quality, or lack thereof, but otherwise it may well have been abandoned for all time, quite easily and happily. I mean life is too short, yes?.

You start a line, get distracted by, say, being hungry or thirsty, satisfy that, waste time wondering what rhymes with say 'obstacle' or its synonyms, even if you're the right track. Try three different lines before returning to an approximation of the first, then pounce on any rhyme, realising that the entire stanza is a just a potential placeholder in case something better comes along. And then go to bed. With a notebook. You can't sleep because you keep thinking of rhymes, in rhyme, because now it's become an obsession - you want to finish it, but also do it reasonably well. And the next night you miss your favorite tv show because of this, this thing the world didn't need and didn't ask for. And then you read back what you have for the twentieth !@#$ time before daring to add just one word. then when you've spellchecked and proofread the creation to bits, you finally post, knowing that some criticism is going to appear, but also suddenly see that you've hardly proofread it at all! There are there's for they'res and they'res for theirs, more spelling errors than you can poke a stick at, capitals in the wrong places, repeated words, and the thing didn't format properly etc etc etc

The entire process is madness!

At least it was done in ample time for Halloween :)

P.S. Sorry about the lengthy reply ;)

MystyrMystyry
10-18-2013, 05:18 AM
As long as you didn't vote for a donkey - probably not much choice this time round? ;)

Delta40
10-18-2013, 05:42 AM
I never vote for asses! Labor won the primary but this preferential voting system is crazy so the Libs got in.

AuntShecky
10-18-2013, 07:34 PM
1) Okay here's a confession - the only thing I knew about Annie was the movie (not seen, didn't even know about the plot), and the Tomorrow song (actually only the verse). The comic (never read) featured a bald Daddy Warbucks who had no eyes, and that's about it really. Thanks for the up, and Wikipaedia for filling me in.

Right. I was referring not to the comic strip or the musical (which once starred Sarah Jessica Parker!) or the movie, but a poem, an entirely different work, with the refrain, " Er the goblins gonna get cha EF YOU DON'T WATCH OUT!"



*Side note. When embarking on something like this, one has to be prepared to spend their free time - it's going to take a certain amount of hours (commenced on 2/10, abandoned on 2/10, resumed on 5/10, dropped on 6/10, resumed on 7/10, abandoned on 8/10 - mad rush the night before posting) This explains the quality, or lack thereof, but otherwise it may well have been abandoned for all time, quite easily and happily. I mean life is too short, yes?.

You start a line, get distracted by, say, being hungry or thirsty, satisfy that, waste time wondering what rhymes with say 'obstacle' or its synonyms, even if you're the right track. Try three different lines before returning to an approximation of the first, then pounce on any rhyme, realising that the entire stanza is a just a potential placeholder in case something better comes along. And then go to bed. With a notebook. You can't sleep because you keep thinking of rhymes, in rhyme, because now it's become an obsession - you want to finish it, but also do it reasonably well. And the next night you miss your favorite tv show because of this, this thing the world didn't need and didn't ask for. And then you read back what you have for the twentieth !@#$ time before daring to add just one word. then when you've spellchecked and proofread the creation to bits, you finally post, knowing that some criticism is going to appear, but also suddenly see that you've hardly proofread it at all! There are there's for they'res and they'res for theirs, more spelling errors than you can poke a stick at, capitals in the wrong places, repeated words, and the thing didn't format properly etc etc etc


You're after me own heart with that one, MM^^. Sounds really familiar to yours fooly. Yer auntie suffers with all of this as well (hope it's worth it.) Plus-- the distractions! Plus, the obligations. For instance I'm about an hour and half late from starting supper. So right now I'm in trouble.

Bottom line-- despite the crits, I sure did like the poem, mainly because it takes risks. Good for you!


Your fan (and maybe kindred spirit),
Auntie