Evo's poetry

[EvoWarrior5]

Decided to make a collective thread for everything I am going to post from now.

This is my entry in the current picture poetry contest:

My way out

A glimmer of hope is visible through my eyes.
A way out of the darkness, a way out of the lies.

I’ve grabbed my stuff, ready to go.
But where I’m going, I don’t know.

Away from all this fear and dread.
Away from all the things unsaid.

To run away from all my woe,
I plan to take the road of crow.

The only thing I see ahead
Is peace and quiet in my head.

Don’t stop me now, I’m almost there.
It’s time to end my great despair.


I am still working on a sonnet, which I will add here soon.

Feedback is greatly appreciated, even if you don't have specific improvements!

Evo

[cafolini]

Decided to make a collective thread for everything I am going to post from now.

This is my entry in the current picture poetry contest:

My way out

A glimmer of hope is visible through my eyes.
A way out of the darkness, a way out of the lies.

I’ve grabbed my stuff, ready to go.
But where I’m going, I don’t know.

Away from all this fear and dread.
Away from all the things unsaid.

To run away from all my woe,
I plan to take the road of crow.

The only thing I see ahead
Is peace and quiet in my head.

Don’t stop me now, I’m almost there.
It’s time to end my great despair.


I am still working on a sonnet, which I will add here soon.

Feedback is greatly appreciated, even if you don't have specific improvements!

Evo

A writing is anything written, whatever it is. You are already there. Efforts are useless. This is a post philosophical age. Read Michel Serres about this.

[EvoWarrior5]

A writing is anything written, whatever it is. You are already there. Efforts are useless. This is a post philosophical age. Read Michel Serres about this.

Um sorry what?

[Rowan]

Decided to make a collective thread for everything I am going to post from now.

This is my entry in the current picture poetry contest:

My way out

A glimmer of hope is visible through my eyes.
A way out of the darkness, a way out of the lies.

I’ve grabbed my stuff, ready to go.
But where I’m going, I don’t know.

Away from all this fear and dread.
Away from all the things unsaid.

To run away from all my woe,
I plan to take the road of crow.

The only thing I see ahead
Is peace and quiet in my head.

Don’t stop me now, I’m almost there.
It’s time to end my great despair.


I am still working on a sonnet, which I will add here soon.

Feedback is greatly appreciated, even if you don't have specific improvements!

Evo

A text is someone bacon. You are sheep. Attempts are cucumber. This is lunchtime. Read Doctor Phil about this.

[EvoWarrior5]

One Short Winter (Sonnet version)

I once felt warm and cosy in your grip
though we did not always bare it to light.
But when we were together in the night
our hands would join and I would kiss your lips.

That one short winter that I spent with you
was better than I ever could have known.
I never thought I’d feel something so true
until you left me standing here alone.

The weeks thereafter felt as though a bomb
had hit me in the heart and far beyond.
The void from which I wanted to abscond
did fade as over time the pain becalmed.

Of all the questions that I had in mind,
the only one that hurts me now is ‘why?’.

[YesNo]

I enjoyed the last two lines of the sonnet. Although the rhyme wasn't perfect the meter was and the rhyme was close enough. It is the most natural question to ask in such situations.

[EvoWarrior5]

I enjoyed the last two lines of the sonnet. Although the rhyme wasn't perfect the meter was and the rhyme was close enough. It is the most natural question to ask in such situations.

Yea I wasn't too happy with the rhyme in the third stanza but I couldn't think of anything better than 'becalmed' so I decided to just go with that ^^

[EvoWarrior5]

This is my latest work. This time it is a lot less serious and more nonsensical, but I like the sound of it as much as I first liked the idea of it.
It does not have a solid name per say, but here goes:

A pear

I live in Pearto Rico. I come home from school
in the break to write a pearagraph
about the feeling of despear,
while my biological pearents
are prepearing food
for suppear tonight. It’s cooked fruit,
I smell, appearently. I jot down
some lines on my papear. My cat
pears at me as I pet it. I hurry back to school
and the teacher pears us up
to give pear feedback to our classmates,
who compear my work to theirs.
Pearsonally I did not like their work very much,
I must admit I thought mine was supearior.
As class is over, and the students dispearse,
I think of life and how it is not always beautiful, pear say.
A pear is only as fair as its skin, it is said. I see
a pearson judging me on
my first appearance, to them I am just
another fool, looking for pearadise on earth.
As others around me stop looking for glee, they pearish
and disappear.

I guess they didn’t eat enough apples.


I know it is really random, but when me and a friend first thought of the idea it was just a funny concept which I turned into an actual poem with lots of 'pear' words. Some of them are a real stretch, such as "suppear" but mostly "my cat pears at me".
Regardless of the randomness and not being very strict, I hope you still enjoy it!

[EvoWarrior5]

Hello all.

I wanted to enter another poetry contest and I am quite happy with what I wrote, so I wanted to post my entry for the famous quoted line poetry here. The line was:

"The vast immortal suns and the long-enduring pensive moons"


The vast, immortal sun and moon

The vast, immortal sun and moon, hanging in the sky.
Forever turning, switching places. How do they get by?
Man fights for freedom, and we strive for immortality.
While sun and moon are stuck up high there, in captivity.

And all that they can do is gaze, and yearn for company.
But all that they can see ahead’s the Earth, happy and free.
They want to get together, so they start their endless chase.
To meet, ever so rarely, in that blessed, short embrace.

To us, it’s an event that seems like night during the day.
To them, it’s an occurrence that feels so blissful and gay.

They never asked to do this job, but no one hears their voice.
We never asked them anything, they never had a choice.
But dutifully these vast eternal bodies keep their shine.
They still provide us with the light, and ever so divine

It’s funny when you realise we are taking them for granted.
Their endless grace with which we have become so disenchanted.
Sometimes I wish that we could help them, bring them down to Earth.
Where they can live a mortal life together, full of mirth.

- Evo

[YesNo]

That was a nice use of "pear" throughout the "A pear" poem. That was also an unusual way of viewing eclipses of the sun and moon. I enjoyed them both.

[EvoWarrior5]

Thank you! I am glad you noticed that I was trying to convey an eclipse that appears as an embrace. I was half-and-half scared that that may have been a bit unclear.

[EvoWarrior5]

My new Sonnet. Forgive me for the Harry Potter reference in the title. I couldn't think of anything better

I Open at the Close

If death is free and life but captivates us
then what is our purpose in this place?
If there is nothing that could motivate us
then what could bring a smile to our face?

The thought that all we live for is to die
makes any man fall down onto his knees.
But at the end I will not kneel or cry
for there’s one thought that makes me feel at ease:

If life serves merely as a preparation
to death, then just what do we have to fear?
If death is really just my liberation
I gladly wait until my death is here.

When death arrives I’ll greet him as a friend.
I’ll wait with patience ‘till my life’s at end.

[EvoWarrior5]

Random little poem that I thought of some time ago. It is meant to focus on the parallelism and rhyme, so it does not make a lot of sense. I quite like it though!


The Fortune Teller's Misfortune

“I feel!” he said, “An army’s movement,
raging through the distant lands.
It’s coming this way, and at this pace
they’re gonna reach our gates today.”

“I hear!” he said, “The enemy is
closing in through burning lands.
We can’t intervene; its magnitude
is greater than we’ve ever seen.”

“I see!” he said, “The foe is nearing,
creeping through our neighbour’s lands.
Though scary it be, we must be swift
and come up with a strategy.”

“I know!” he said, “I’ve got a way to
get us through this fight unharmed.
Just follow my lead, and I’ll make sure
that we shall bring the foe defeat.”

“I smell,” he said, “awareness flowing,
was our enemy alarmed?
They’ve seen through our trap, now is the time
to run, so make off with a zap!"

“I guess” he said, “My plan has failed
we’re tied up in this cave, disarmed.
I wish I could say: my plan has worked
but nay, now all our hope’s away."


UPDATE: I have not written anything in a while. This is because University is catching up with me and the workload is increasing. I also received some books for my birthday so I am focusing more on reading rather than writing for the time being. When I do write, there is this novel I am trying to work on. Not that I am ever going to get it published, but I quite like the challenge and trying to write it!

I may very well be wrong and be posting back here in a short time, but for now it does not really look like it, so I thought I'd inform those who care! ^^

[AuntShecky]

#8 is by far the best one in this batch. The word play and the light-hearted attitude is enjoyable. The topic of the fortune teller is intriguing, but it's lacking something. Instead of focusing on the vision of an approaching enemy --with a somewhat tepid build-up and an anti-climactic conclusion, why not give a more vivid picture of the Fortune-Teller?

The others, I'm afraid, are a bit too generic and mundane for my taste. Try to bring something new to subjects by combining language and imagery in an unexpected way. Write poems that nobody else could write but you.

Keep writing.

Auntie

[EvoWarrior5]

#8 is by far the best one in this batch. The word play and the light-hearted attitude is enjoyable. The topic of the fortune teller is intriguing, but it's lacking something. Instead of focusing on the vision of an approaching enemy --with a somewhat tepid build-up and an anti-climactic conclusion, why not give a more vivid picture of the Fortune-Teller?

The others, I'm afraid, are a bit too generic and mundane for my taste. Try to bring something new to subjects by combining language and imagery in an unexpected way. Write poems that nobody else could write but you.

Keep writing.

Auntie

Thank you for your comments!

If I ever were to expand on the fortune teller one - which I have considered - I will keep what you said in mind.

I can very much imagine most of my work being generic; most of what I have written is in this thread, so you can see how new I am to this ^^ I picked some more mundane topics at first which I tried to give my own spin. Right now I am in a more inactive period but I hope to continue writing sometime.

Evo

[Delta40]

Lol I loved A Pear and the witty end line.