Biggus
10-07-2013, 08:36 AM
TRAFFIC COP – DON’T BE TOO CLEVER
Sometimes you can talk
Your way out of a ticket
A little bit of charm
Is probably the safest bet
Humour can work as well
Don’t say to the men in blue
“That's great the last cop
Only gave me a warning too”
MY DAD DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 2
My Dad doesn’t go to the gym
And he hasn’t yet come unstuck
As he gets all the exercise he needs
Entirely by pushing my luck
BACK IN 66
Back in 66
When I was just a boy
I was full of pride
Watching Nobby’s jig of joy
And when Bobby Moore
Was raised shoulder high
Holding the World Cup
It made every Scotsman cry
GREAT ROYAL WIFE NEFERTITI
Great Royal wife Nefertiti
Was the Ancient Egyptian Queen
Good time girl Nefertutu
Is just a modern dancing Queen
I MESSED ABOUT A LOT AT SCHOOL
I messed about a lot at school
And always played the fool
So I was expelled from school
And spent my time playing pool
And turned out a proper tool
ELECTRONIC BANKING # 1
Electronic banking
Is a wonderful thing
Lightning fast transfers
In the modern age
Though not the fastest
By any shape or means
Nothing transfers funds
Faster than marriage
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 305
Kitty Fisher took a tumble
And her skirts went all akimbo
And as her legs flew in the air
You could see she’d gone commando
ARE YOU WEARING A MUFFLER?
Are you wearing a muffler?
To keep the cold off your chest
Well should it not do the job
I know what to do for the best
I’ll just rub Vick on your skin
Inside your thermal vest
Sometimes you can talk
Your way out of a ticket
A little bit of charm
Is probably the safest bet
Humour can work as well
Don’t say to the men in blue
“That's great the last cop
Only gave me a warning too”
MY DAD DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 2
My Dad doesn’t go to the gym
And he hasn’t yet come unstuck
As he gets all the exercise he needs
Entirely by pushing my luck
BACK IN 66
Back in 66
When I was just a boy
I was full of pride
Watching Nobby’s jig of joy
And when Bobby Moore
Was raised shoulder high
Holding the World Cup
It made every Scotsman cry
GREAT ROYAL WIFE NEFERTITI
Great Royal wife Nefertiti
Was the Ancient Egyptian Queen
Good time girl Nefertutu
Is just a modern dancing Queen
I MESSED ABOUT A LOT AT SCHOOL
I messed about a lot at school
And always played the fool
So I was expelled from school
And spent my time playing pool
And turned out a proper tool
ELECTRONIC BANKING # 1
Electronic banking
Is a wonderful thing
Lightning fast transfers
In the modern age
Though not the fastest
By any shape or means
Nothing transfers funds
Faster than marriage
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 305
Kitty Fisher took a tumble
And her skirts went all akimbo
And as her legs flew in the air
You could see she’d gone commando
ARE YOU WEARING A MUFFLER?
Are you wearing a muffler?
To keep the cold off your chest
Well should it not do the job
I know what to do for the best
I’ll just rub Vick on your skin
Inside your thermal vest