Biggus
10-05-2013, 07:26 AM
TRAFFIC COP – DON’T BE TOO FUNNY
Sometimes you can talk
Your way out of a ticket
A little bit of charm
Is probably the safest bet
Humour can work as well
So say to the men in blue
“You don’t need to check
In the boot do you?”
MY DAD DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 1
My Dad doesn’t go to the gym
He has no need of their facilities
As he gets all the exercise he needs
Just by dodging his responsibilities
OUR COMPUTERS WENT DOWN
Our computers went down
At the office today
So we had to do things
The old fashioned way
But Doris had a pack of cards
So playing cards was ok
GOING VEGETARIAN
Going vegetarian
They say is very wholesome
My only concern
Is having to eat a whole one
I AM TOTALLY UNAPPRECIATED AT WORK
I am totally unappreciated at work
I do a good job but unfortunately I fear
It’s akin to dribbling in your trousers
When you’re wearing a dark pair
You getting a comforting warm glow
But no one sees the piss patch there
DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE BOSS
Don’t worry about the boss
Finding out how little you do
Because he is the lazy ****
That’s more worried about you
OUR LONDON SCHOOL WAS AWASH
Our London school was awash
With drugs of various kinds
And it certainly wasn’t considered
A punishment to do lines
WHEN MY FIRST SON WAS BORN
My wife wanted me at the birth
I had to grin and bear it and pretend
Although I had to be at the birth
I wasn’t going down the tripey end
I stood and stared open mouthed
Full of pride and with regrets
As he came into the world
Like a bag of screaming jiblets
Sometimes you can talk
Your way out of a ticket
A little bit of charm
Is probably the safest bet
Humour can work as well
So say to the men in blue
“You don’t need to check
In the boot do you?”
MY DAD DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 1
My Dad doesn’t go to the gym
He has no need of their facilities
As he gets all the exercise he needs
Just by dodging his responsibilities
OUR COMPUTERS WENT DOWN
Our computers went down
At the office today
So we had to do things
The old fashioned way
But Doris had a pack of cards
So playing cards was ok
GOING VEGETARIAN
Going vegetarian
They say is very wholesome
My only concern
Is having to eat a whole one
I AM TOTALLY UNAPPRECIATED AT WORK
I am totally unappreciated at work
I do a good job but unfortunately I fear
It’s akin to dribbling in your trousers
When you’re wearing a dark pair
You getting a comforting warm glow
But no one sees the piss patch there
DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE BOSS
Don’t worry about the boss
Finding out how little you do
Because he is the lazy ****
That’s more worried about you
OUR LONDON SCHOOL WAS AWASH
Our London school was awash
With drugs of various kinds
And it certainly wasn’t considered
A punishment to do lines
WHEN MY FIRST SON WAS BORN
My wife wanted me at the birth
I had to grin and bear it and pretend
Although I had to be at the birth
I wasn’t going down the tripey end
I stood and stared open mouthed
Full of pride and with regrets
As he came into the world
Like a bag of screaming jiblets