Biggus
09-24-2013, 07:57 AM
TRAFFIC COP – AVOID ANY REFERENCE
Sometimes you can talk
Your way out of a ticket
A little bit of charm
Is probably the safest bet
Humour can work as well
Providing you’re careful
And avoid any reference
To the Village People
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 304
There was a Ship sailed away to Spain
All the way there it was lashed with rain
And when they arrived at last in Spain
Where the rain didn’t fall in the main
As Higgins suggested on the plain
MY GIRLFRIEND SAYS SHE’S WORKING CLASS
My girlfriend says she’s working class
And I just have to laugh
As not one of them as far as I can see
Has ever worked in her family
MY WIFE DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 2
My wife doesn’t go to the gym
She’s as skinny as a candle
As she gets all the exercise she needs
Just from flying off the handle
ARE YOU WEARING WORN OUT DRAWERS?
Are you wearing worn out drawers?
Well I think it’s something certain
You may put on a very good show
But your riches have gone for a burton
And despite every outwardly sign
It’s a case of “all kippers and curtains”
AFTER MY HOLIDAY
After my holiday
My inbox was full
And the backlog
Was diabolical
After four hours
However it transpired
From an email I found
That I was fired
IT WAS AT SOUTHWAITE SERVICES
It was at Southwaite services
Where I stopped though in a rush
And experienced for the first time
The disconcerting autoflush
I’m sure it’s quite an innovation
But it doesn’t work for me
When auto flush sprinkled my
Undercarriage Mid delivery
MY CHILDREN AND MY PARENTS
My children and my parents
Despite the span of years
Have so much in common
Which is how it certainly appears
The complete nonsense they talk
The strange clothes they wear
None of them have jobs
They’re all familiar with drugs
And have ridiculous coloured hair
Sometimes you can talk
Your way out of a ticket
A little bit of charm
Is probably the safest bet
Humour can work as well
Providing you’re careful
And avoid any reference
To the Village People
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 304
There was a Ship sailed away to Spain
All the way there it was lashed with rain
And when they arrived at last in Spain
Where the rain didn’t fall in the main
As Higgins suggested on the plain
MY GIRLFRIEND SAYS SHE’S WORKING CLASS
My girlfriend says she’s working class
And I just have to laugh
As not one of them as far as I can see
Has ever worked in her family
MY WIFE DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 2
My wife doesn’t go to the gym
She’s as skinny as a candle
As she gets all the exercise she needs
Just from flying off the handle
ARE YOU WEARING WORN OUT DRAWERS?
Are you wearing worn out drawers?
Well I think it’s something certain
You may put on a very good show
But your riches have gone for a burton
And despite every outwardly sign
It’s a case of “all kippers and curtains”
AFTER MY HOLIDAY
After my holiday
My inbox was full
And the backlog
Was diabolical
After four hours
However it transpired
From an email I found
That I was fired
IT WAS AT SOUTHWAITE SERVICES
It was at Southwaite services
Where I stopped though in a rush
And experienced for the first time
The disconcerting autoflush
I’m sure it’s quite an innovation
But it doesn’t work for me
When auto flush sprinkled my
Undercarriage Mid delivery
MY CHILDREN AND MY PARENTS
My children and my parents
Despite the span of years
Have so much in common
Which is how it certainly appears
The complete nonsense they talk
The strange clothes they wear
None of them have jobs
They’re all familiar with drugs
And have ridiculous coloured hair