A Bay Between: My First Sonnet

[Evan Shaw]

Maple sap dripped, in misty morning distance
Holding back these words that admit the better one
I caress aside,-- and see where all churning begun
Her hints contained t'will outlast existence.
As tree rings trace subtle resistance, springs pour'd beneath
Language produced no utterance, and nothing passed
For insignificance,-- that hue, a portion kept from you
Slowly grew to reveal this deeper image anew.
As if a calligraphy pen could capture all the styles
Like the seashore away from a lighthouse some
What I would do to evaporate the miles
For you, for you, the torrent has come
Time spent in Nature oh do I adore
My heart will you help restore?


(not intended as a Shakespearean sonnet, more like a Sidney one)

[YesNo]

I found the meter hard to hear. I would expect an iambic pentameter line in a sonnet. The rhyme word "begun" seems strange to me. I would have said "began". Also "t'will".

Actually, I don't understand the poem, but I don't understand a lot of poetry. It seems the message is that living in nature has been nice, but the "I" in the poem needs more to restore his or her heart.