Biggus
09-12-2013, 05:17 AM
TRAFFIC COP – I’M SORRY
“I’m sorry” the Officer said
“That I have to give you a ticket sir”
“I’m sorry too” I said “That I forgot
To plug in my radar detector”
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 302
Little girl, little girl where have you been?
Have you been visiting London Zoo
Or gathering roses to give to the Queen.
Oh you went to get another Tattoo
THE LAST OF THE SUMMER WHINE
No sooner had the stumps been pulled
Then the Vintage Aussie Whine was served
Made from their abundant sour grapes
It was to toast an English victory well deserved
DURING A PASSWORD AUDIT
During a password audit by the IT crowd,
They discovered something quite absurd
A young woman by the name of Bimbette
Who was using the following password
PughPughBarneyMcGrewCuthbertDibbleGrubb
And was told such a password was wrong
But Bimbette explained that she was told
Her password must be six characters long
SPEEDING TICKET
Bimbette was stopped for speeding
When asked to produce her license
She launched into a tirade of abuse
“This doesn’t make any bloody sense”
When the officer calmed her down
He asked Bimbette to explain
“Well you only took it away yesterday
And now you want to see it again”
ARE YOU WEARING A LOOK OF SATISFACTION?
Are you wearing a look of satisfaction?
Well that blush is a tell-tale sight
You have clearly been indulging
In a spot of afternoon delight
ON LIFE’S JOURNEY WE ARE ALL
On life’s journey we are all
Looking for the one
And I can safely say that I
Married the one
On a scale of one to ten
She was a one
I PICKED UP A HITCHHIKER TODAY
I picked up a hitchhiker today
I know you’re not supposed to
But as I knocked him down
It was the least I could do
“I’m sorry” the Officer said
“That I have to give you a ticket sir”
“I’m sorry too” I said “That I forgot
To plug in my radar detector”
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 302
Little girl, little girl where have you been?
Have you been visiting London Zoo
Or gathering roses to give to the Queen.
Oh you went to get another Tattoo
THE LAST OF THE SUMMER WHINE
No sooner had the stumps been pulled
Then the Vintage Aussie Whine was served
Made from their abundant sour grapes
It was to toast an English victory well deserved
DURING A PASSWORD AUDIT
During a password audit by the IT crowd,
They discovered something quite absurd
A young woman by the name of Bimbette
Who was using the following password
PughPughBarneyMcGrewCuthbertDibbleGrubb
And was told such a password was wrong
But Bimbette explained that she was told
Her password must be six characters long
SPEEDING TICKET
Bimbette was stopped for speeding
When asked to produce her license
She launched into a tirade of abuse
“This doesn’t make any bloody sense”
When the officer calmed her down
He asked Bimbette to explain
“Well you only took it away yesterday
And now you want to see it again”
ARE YOU WEARING A LOOK OF SATISFACTION?
Are you wearing a look of satisfaction?
Well that blush is a tell-tale sight
You have clearly been indulging
In a spot of afternoon delight
ON LIFE’S JOURNEY WE ARE ALL
On life’s journey we are all
Looking for the one
And I can safely say that I
Married the one
On a scale of one to ten
She was a one
I PICKED UP A HITCHHIKER TODAY
I picked up a hitchhiker today
I know you’re not supposed to
But as I knocked him down
It was the least I could do