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Grit
09-04-2013, 03:16 AM
I'm drunk. It feels good, the ole' dad high. Beers are the answer to all of life's problems, especially those that have no answers. IF you drink you enough, you'll forget the question altogether.

Spider

Spider lives in mother's closet
all wrapped up in the sheets.
Mother best stay away,
he's roaring like the sea.

"Spider's web is spun all wrong."
Mother screams with glee.
"No, I built it fine." he cries,
then strings her from a tree.

Spider's on the run for now,
through the shadows dark.
Stinging flies with needle knives,
the watchdogs start to bark.

Spider's trail is clearly marked,
with webs and hollowed bone,
Sirens follow, blaring loud
and spider dreams of home.

Spider's eyes are wild with fright,
they know, he thinks again.
He hides beneath mother's husk.
The dogs are in his den.

Spider's smell, venomous sick,
brings dogs like bloody steak.
They pull him out and cuff his legs,
he's made his last mistake.

Spider's end is coming quick,
with a sting it starts to flow.
Poisoned by the state he dies,
fading quiet from death's row.

Kiss you

Burp Gurgle Pop!
Did you know that I love you?
I thought not.
Your boyfriend’s a nice guy,
no denial.

Let’s leave this alone
in a whisper (for now).
For now.

Drink Drink Drink!
Till my face hits the sink,
you know what I think, no?
I think,
it might be the alcohol,
I might be a fool.
I don’t really care.
I just wanna kiss you
and kiss you.

Fizzle Woosh Slam!
No, I don’t love your girlfriend.
What the hell man.
You know,
you’re my best friend.

I don’t want to fight you,
please go to sleep.
To sleep.

Talk Talk Talk!
Till my face hits the side walk.
You know what I mean no?
I mean.
It might be the cocaine,
I might be insane.
I don’t really care.
I just wanna kiss you
and kiss you.

Cry Cry Cry!
No baby, wipe your eyes.
Your boyfriend is dead.
He’s dead and
I’m sorry I hurt you.

Stop hitting me now,
I just wanna hold you,
to hold you.

Scream Scream Scream!
Please don’t make a scene,
you know that I love you, no?
I love you.
It might be the bloodstain,
you’re too god damn vain.
I don’t really care.
I just wanna kiss you
and kiss you.

Delta40
09-04-2013, 05:41 AM
Well I clicked on this thread only because the title reminded me of Wolf Larsen. Not bad. Bit loose. But definitely enjoyable.

Hawkman
09-04-2013, 07:55 AM
Well I clicked on this thread only because the title reminded me of Wolf Larsen. Not bad. Bit loose. But definitely enjoyable.

Yes - for the same reason I nearly didn't!

The both of these have quite a good idea behind them but in the first one the rhythm isn't consistent, which throws the ballade off a bit. With the second, the burp gurgle pop and the fizzle whoosh slam don't do a lot for me. You could just leave them out, or preferably use repetitions as you have in the other stanzas. These work well.

Live and be well - H

AuntShecky
09-05-2013, 03:42 PM
Or, in the immortal words of Little Richard, "A-whop bop-a-lu-ba, a-whop bam boom!"

Jack of Hearts
09-05-2013, 08:39 PM
European pop lawyers will be contacting you with a cease and desist:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVvMHA4Nrm8







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